Fall is in full force and I am loving it! There's just something about the crisp air, beautiful colors, and the anticipation of the soon arriving holidays that give me an extra does of excitement! I love summer and all, but by the time this one was over, I had no problem moving on to the cooler seasons. The lack of shade in our yard kept us indoors most afternoons, and after awhile it just felt like we were trapped in the air conditioned house. Sure, we'd get out and go other places every once and awhile, but the humidity and high temps burned me out quickly. I just don't handle the heat like I used to. Makes me rather sad when I think about it.
Anyway, Nathan is doing very well in school this year. He's one smart cookie that's for sure! His teacher Ms. Erickson is a huge blessing! Her and I, as well as some other staff members at school, have been working together to figure out ways to help Nathan's sensory needs while in class. He gets little breaks here and there, and she is diligent at using his tools to help him. I get updates about every other week and she is constantly reassuring me that he is a great kid and he's doing really well. I had my concerns before school started, but it seems like a lot has changed for him over the summer. His OT Kate said he has developed a lot through his therapies and he has been officially discharged from occupational therapy! He'll have a check up in about 4 months or so for a re-evaluatioin, but he's doing amazing. It can still be taxing at times because of his high energy and sensory seeking behaviors, but I've learned to accept them. When I see he's really wiggly and can't seem to focus, I can help him now. It's so much easier to help than to wonder what the heck is going on with this kid!? I still sometimes feel insecure about having a child that is "different" but in all honesty, he's still the boy that God made and I'm not going to let that distract me from who he truly is. He's a child with a huge, loving heart that has compassion that most adults SHOULD have. He's funny and smart, and he has an amazing imagination. Not to mention, that boy has FAITH. I can already see some of the spiritual gifts he has been given and I know that no matter what he's "diagnosed" with, nothing will ever take that away. It's a part of who God made him.
Over the summer Nathan played soccer for the first time. He did an ok job considering the circumstances. He had a hard time staying focused and goofed around a lot. Then again, a lot of the kids his age on the team did. It was the 7 year olds that really held the team together and did most of the work. So maybe next year will be a bit different for him. It was cute to see him help other kids up when they fell or got hurt. He was always concerned about all the kids playing. During their first game a kid from the other team fell, and Nathan stopped, ran over to him and helped him up. Another time a girl on the opposing team got really hurt and while she was laying there all the other kids ran off of the field and Nathan sat right next to hurt asking her if she was ok and petted her head until the coach came on the field. He didn't leave until he was asked to. What a sweetheart.
Jovie is getting big and it seems like she's catching on to something new every day. Just like Nathan, she's very advanced in her speech and comprehension, actually she's a bit more advanced than he was. (Lord help me!) I have been blessed with incredibly smart children. It just amazes me! She's not even two and the stuff that comes out of her mouth just floors me at times! Not just the fact that she knows what she's talking about, but the fact that she says it so clearly. She also likes to clean up. If she gets a dribble of milk on the floor I can guarantee you she's going to run to the drawer with the napkins and wipe it up. She also HAS to throw away her own diapers. It's strange, but true. She has such a joyful disposition too. It's so contagious, it's hard not to be happy when she's around! She really fits the meaning of her name "little joyful one" or "bringer of joy." Trust me, that girl can get pissed off at times, but for the most part she's so happy. She smiles with her whole body it seems. I can also see some of her gifts as well. She loves music! Nathan did too at her age, but got overwhelmed by the noise. Jovie can take it no matter how loud it is. One day we had her with us during worship at church and when the song was over she yelled "yaaaay!" And started clapping. Even the worship leader heard her and we were way in the back. She'll randomly sing her own songs while we're in the car. Some is gibberish but a few words are very clear. One day it was about Mommy and Daddy, another time she was singing about Jesus, and another time going to Grandma and Papa's house to see uncle Jeremy. It's so darn cute!
I sometimes get overwhelmed by the fact that we're having a 3rd in March. I often wonder, will I have enough to give all 3? Will I still be a good mom? Can I really handle this? Well, God wouldn't have given us this child if I couldn't. With help from him, I'll get through it. I'm not a perfect mom, but I now fully believe that I have enough love to go around.
I do have some prayer requests for those who pray. I've been struggling with headaches for almost 10 weeks now, please be praying that these headaches will stop. They consistently start in the same place and they can last for days at a time. I'm starting to get concerned about them. I honestly have them more than I do not have them. Also be praying that Dan and I will continue to learn how to co-parent effectively. And to accept the fact that we're different, so we're going to parent differently.
Thank you so much!
Blessings!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Crossing the Monkey Bars.
It has been awhile since I splattered my thoughts and feelings on here. I've been reading The Out of Sync Child and learning so much about SPD! I've been beginning to notice more of Nathan's "triggers" and recognizing when he needs some help. I've also noticed that some of the things that have bothered me my whole life are due to sensory issues. It all makes so much sense now, but I'm not going to get into that! At least not right now.
Because I've been a little more stressed than usual lately, I've been finding myself getting overwhelmed rather easily. Today for instance, we went to lunch at Duluth Grill with some friends. I was really tired, not really feeling that great and it was packed in there. There was way too much going on at once and it was hard to focus on what was going on. Well, I could tell immediately this was overwhelming Nathan as well. He was pulling his shirt over his knees and constantly touching me. He was in my space the whole time we were there. Snuggling with me, tapping my arm, talking excessively, wanting me to read to him.. etc. I had him hug his knees to his chest, and rock front to back and side to side for a bit, but that didn't seem to help. I tried to help him breath slower because he was practically panting, but that didn't help either. He just needed to be snuggled. Since I was out of sorts I could barely handle him touching me. It took EVERYTHING in me not to snap! I finally had to tell him that I needed some space, but that only lasted a few seconds before he was touching my arm again. I wanted to snap a fork in half because I was so agitated! Luckily I didn't snap at him and we survived lunch! If I was feeling that crazy due to being overwhelmed, I couldn't imagine how he must have been feeling!
When we got home, I did some sensory therapy with him which seemed to help him calm down. By this point I was so tired and overwhelmed that I felt like I was going to puke all over the place. I took a 2 1/2 hour nap and woke up feeling like poo. However, after some time in prayer and forcing myself to keep things simple and slow for the rest of the day, I felt better. We went outside with the kids, and as part of Nathan's therapy I've been having him cross the monkey bars. Before today, he'd never do it without me holding onto him. He has a weaker upper body so it's really difficult for him to cross them. However, after a few tries of me barely holding onto him, he hopped up there and crossed them all by himself 2 times in a row! And then that's all he wanted to do! He probably crossed them 10 more times throughout the evening. I was so happy for him! He had this sense of achievement about him. He said, the kids in school are going to be so surprised when they see him crossing the monkey bars at recess! I never thought that anything as simple as crossing the monkey bars would bring hope to my heart. It showed me that he's getting stronger, and it gave him some real confidence. Such a huge change from yesterday! He also asked me to do the "squeezes" to his arms tonight and give him a hug. He must have knew he needed it in order to sit down at the dinner table and finish his meal. In the past, he would have gotten up a ton of times just to move around.
Speaking of yesterday, when I went to pick up Nathan at school for his OT appointment, I could tell immediately just by looking at him that he was having a rough day. The neck of his shirt was saturated from him chewing on it and he had it all balled up in the middle from squeezing it. When he was close enough for me to see his face he looked flat out miserable. Normally, he's excited when I pick him up, but this time he was just quiet. I pulled him for the rest of the day, which I probably shouldn't have, but my heart was broken and I wasn't thinking clearly. I had a feeling when he woke up that morning from a bad dream that he was going to have a rough day. After he ate his lunch and went to OT he was a lot better. He seemed like a totally different kid! He could have went back to school, and even wanted to. But I wanted him to try to get some sleep. Which, he didn't.
While at his appointment, Kate told me about some tools we could get Nate. Unfortunately, they're not exactly cheap, and insurance doesn't cover them. Getting him some chewy's for him to chew on in school and other times he needs to focus would help immensely. It's $80 for 12 of them! Or $6 for just one. And I could probably guarantee that he'll lose it the first day he brings it to school. A weighted vest is anywhere from $40-$300, and luckily we don't have to buy a weighted blanket because a friend of ours is blessing us by making him one. We just need to get the material which is soooo much cheaper! It's hard not to get discouraged when I see all the expenses. It's also frustrating that I can't just go somewhere close and buy them. They need to be purchased online or from a catalog.
Our OT is great with Nathan and gives us great activities to do with him to help, but when it comes to asking her what can be done to help him in school, or about things to purchase, the answers just seem vague. I'm so new to this, that I need things explained more. But time is so crunched when we go there, it's hard to ask the questions I need to ask when she needs to focus on Nathan.
I did get him some Omega 3 + Vitamin D vitamins. It will help with his brain function. I'm also trying my best to cut out artificial dyes, and sweeteners from his diet. I cannot believe how many foods have artificial dye in them! It's definitely making grocery shopping take forever! But I'll soon learn what not to buy.
Man, what a long post. I'm off to bed!
Goodnight everyone!
Because I've been a little more stressed than usual lately, I've been finding myself getting overwhelmed rather easily. Today for instance, we went to lunch at Duluth Grill with some friends. I was really tired, not really feeling that great and it was packed in there. There was way too much going on at once and it was hard to focus on what was going on. Well, I could tell immediately this was overwhelming Nathan as well. He was pulling his shirt over his knees and constantly touching me. He was in my space the whole time we were there. Snuggling with me, tapping my arm, talking excessively, wanting me to read to him.. etc. I had him hug his knees to his chest, and rock front to back and side to side for a bit, but that didn't seem to help. I tried to help him breath slower because he was practically panting, but that didn't help either. He just needed to be snuggled. Since I was out of sorts I could barely handle him touching me. It took EVERYTHING in me not to snap! I finally had to tell him that I needed some space, but that only lasted a few seconds before he was touching my arm again. I wanted to snap a fork in half because I was so agitated! Luckily I didn't snap at him and we survived lunch! If I was feeling that crazy due to being overwhelmed, I couldn't imagine how he must have been feeling!
When we got home, I did some sensory therapy with him which seemed to help him calm down. By this point I was so tired and overwhelmed that I felt like I was going to puke all over the place. I took a 2 1/2 hour nap and woke up feeling like poo. However, after some time in prayer and forcing myself to keep things simple and slow for the rest of the day, I felt better. We went outside with the kids, and as part of Nathan's therapy I've been having him cross the monkey bars. Before today, he'd never do it without me holding onto him. He has a weaker upper body so it's really difficult for him to cross them. However, after a few tries of me barely holding onto him, he hopped up there and crossed them all by himself 2 times in a row! And then that's all he wanted to do! He probably crossed them 10 more times throughout the evening. I was so happy for him! He had this sense of achievement about him. He said, the kids in school are going to be so surprised when they see him crossing the monkey bars at recess! I never thought that anything as simple as crossing the monkey bars would bring hope to my heart. It showed me that he's getting stronger, and it gave him some real confidence. Such a huge change from yesterday! He also asked me to do the "squeezes" to his arms tonight and give him a hug. He must have knew he needed it in order to sit down at the dinner table and finish his meal. In the past, he would have gotten up a ton of times just to move around.
Speaking of yesterday, when I went to pick up Nathan at school for his OT appointment, I could tell immediately just by looking at him that he was having a rough day. The neck of his shirt was saturated from him chewing on it and he had it all balled up in the middle from squeezing it. When he was close enough for me to see his face he looked flat out miserable. Normally, he's excited when I pick him up, but this time he was just quiet. I pulled him for the rest of the day, which I probably shouldn't have, but my heart was broken and I wasn't thinking clearly. I had a feeling when he woke up that morning from a bad dream that he was going to have a rough day. After he ate his lunch and went to OT he was a lot better. He seemed like a totally different kid! He could have went back to school, and even wanted to. But I wanted him to try to get some sleep. Which, he didn't.
While at his appointment, Kate told me about some tools we could get Nate. Unfortunately, they're not exactly cheap, and insurance doesn't cover them. Getting him some chewy's for him to chew on in school and other times he needs to focus would help immensely. It's $80 for 12 of them! Or $6 for just one. And I could probably guarantee that he'll lose it the first day he brings it to school. A weighted vest is anywhere from $40-$300, and luckily we don't have to buy a weighted blanket because a friend of ours is blessing us by making him one. We just need to get the material which is soooo much cheaper! It's hard not to get discouraged when I see all the expenses. It's also frustrating that I can't just go somewhere close and buy them. They need to be purchased online or from a catalog.
Our OT is great with Nathan and gives us great activities to do with him to help, but when it comes to asking her what can be done to help him in school, or about things to purchase, the answers just seem vague. I'm so new to this, that I need things explained more. But time is so crunched when we go there, it's hard to ask the questions I need to ask when she needs to focus on Nathan.
I did get him some Omega 3 + Vitamin D vitamins. It will help with his brain function. I'm also trying my best to cut out artificial dyes, and sweeteners from his diet. I cannot believe how many foods have artificial dye in them! It's definitely making grocery shopping take forever! But I'll soon learn what not to buy.
Man, what a long post. I'm off to bed!
Goodnight everyone!
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
One hurdle at a time.
Well, yesterday was a bit of an emotional day for this Mama. I found out that Nathan will need more at home therapy than I expected, and I felt very discouraged about it. It turns out that due to his inability to locate his body in space at times, he has underdeveloped muscles in his trunk to shoulders area. So basically, the upper half of his body is pretty weak compared to kids Nathan's age. This weakness even causes him to breath heavier than he should at times. So, there's therapy to help him breath properly, therapy to help his muscles develop, and therapy to help him locate his body in space. This will require us swinging him in a hammock (which thank GOD we have one!) from side to side and front to back. This will help his vestibular system to basically center itself. Also, because of this vestibular issue, Nathan is unable to locate where sound is coming from. So, for all those times people have shouted to him across the room, or the yard, or where ever, and he didn't respond, he wasn't ignoring you.. He literally could not process where the sound was coming from, therefore he didn't turn towards it, or hear it for that matter. Kate, our OT, said that the only way Nathan really responded to her was when she stood directly in front of him. So, because of this, Nathan will need audio therapy twice a day for 30 minutes at a time every day. Right away my mind was filled with discouraging doubt. How am I going to get Nathan to want to do this twice a day, every day for the next 8 weeks for 30 minutes a pop!? On top of that, when I dropped Nathan off at school, his teacher informed me that since SPD is not considered a "medical" issue, the OT at school is not funded to help kids that only suffer with SPD. So basically, the school cannot provide OT for Nathan. The only way he'll get it is if we supply the supplies they would need. I'm ok with giving the supplies.. What got to me was the fact that the schools don't consider SPD a medical issue. His nervous system is all jacked up! How is that NOT medical? My child can not process things the way a "normal" child can.. How is that not medical? It doesn't make sense to me. Don't get me wrong, his teacher is incredibly helpful and she still has regular conversations with the OT to see how she can help Nathan... I was just pissed off at the system. I don't think people realize how difficult these kids with SPD have it. People need to be more aware of this! These children need help and support. Without it, they face horrible self esteem issues, they may lack friends, and be filled with confusion and anxiety. These children are often set up for failure as well. They cannot complete some normal every day tasks that someone without SPD can. For instance, if Nathan is sent into his room to pick up all of his dirty socks, he may miss the ones that are right in the open. Not because he wasn't looking, but because his system gets overwhelmed by how many other things are in the room. I just thought he was being lazy, but he literally couldn't see them. Imagine sitting in a room full of things and not understanding why your mind can't seem to focus on just one simple thing... Nathan explains it by saying "his brain feels dizzy."
It frustrates me how overlooked this disorder is. These kids have a chance to have the confidence and abilities of a "normal" child. But without help, chances are they won't get it.
On a lighter note, Nathan and I had a talk over our lego building time last night. I asked him how OT was going.. He likes to call it "central therapy" and he LOVES Kate! I don't know how he came up with central therapy.. but I think it's cute. He said it's really helping him and he likes it a lot so far. I asked him in what ways he thought it was helping. He said, "you know, it helps me make my brain stop. I stop wiggling so much, and I can pay attention more in school. And I'm not naughty." He said he wishes that Kate could move in with him so he could have "central therapy" all the time. It's cute. I love how he just thinks the world of her. I think he sees her as the one person that really understands him. I thank God for that.
Last night I got a glimpse of the muscle weaknesses Kate was mentioning. Our neighbor went to push Nathan down the slide, and since his upper body is much weaker than normal, Nathan just folded in half and tumbled down the slide, scraping up his side, smashing his glasses into his face, and hurting his tummy. A kid with more steady upper body strength probably would have just gone down the slide, but Nathan, not so much. It didn't help that the boy pushing him was a lot older and stronger, and it didn't help that it caught Nathan off guard either. But he just flopped like a rag doll! The Mama bear in me broke out and I snapped at poor Allen. I felt bad for Allen, but I felt even more badly for Nathan. His body is still sore today to the point that he cried after getting dressed because his underwear scraped his raw skin when he put them on.
Ugh, I'm just getting to the point where I want to scream at the people who call him naughty, or yell at him for not listening to them. I just want to scream into my pillow sometimes. Ask God why my little boys heart has to hurt so much? Why do the schools not find this disorder serious enough to want to help these kids more? I want a voice, I want to inform people that this is serious, and it needs to be looked into more. Know your kids! Know their actions and behaviors, and if something feels a bit off and your gut is telling you something about it, listen to it! Help your children! Because if you don't, no one will! Set your kids up for success, not failure. Don't let fear of how a diagnosis may reflect on you as a parent. It's not about you, it's about your kids. 1 in 20 kids have sensory issues.. Some pretty serious, some not as serious.. But they all need to be acknowledged. They all need some sort of help. Read about it, be informed and do not fear a possible diagnosis. There is help out there and there is hope! Nathan's future will be a lot better now because he's receiving the help that he needs. And now, I can say I understand him so much more. There were so many signs that he displayed since he was an infant.. I probably would have recognized the signs long ago, like around 2 years of age had I known them.
I'm hoping to convert a part of our basement into an integration therapy area. If anyone has any old bean bag chairs that they want to get rid of, I'd love to take them off of your hands! As long as there are no holes. (If they're patched that's fine) Thank you all for your support, your kind words, and prayers! I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate them. And I know Nathan will someday too. I will not give into guilt from actions of the past, but I will hang onto Jesus and the hope that he provides. Nathan has the help he needs now. Nathan has a chance at a better future, and a chance to be understood.
It frustrates me how overlooked this disorder is. These kids have a chance to have the confidence and abilities of a "normal" child. But without help, chances are they won't get it.
On a lighter note, Nathan and I had a talk over our lego building time last night. I asked him how OT was going.. He likes to call it "central therapy" and he LOVES Kate! I don't know how he came up with central therapy.. but I think it's cute. He said it's really helping him and he likes it a lot so far. I asked him in what ways he thought it was helping. He said, "you know, it helps me make my brain stop. I stop wiggling so much, and I can pay attention more in school. And I'm not naughty." He said he wishes that Kate could move in with him so he could have "central therapy" all the time. It's cute. I love how he just thinks the world of her. I think he sees her as the one person that really understands him. I thank God for that.
Last night I got a glimpse of the muscle weaknesses Kate was mentioning. Our neighbor went to push Nathan down the slide, and since his upper body is much weaker than normal, Nathan just folded in half and tumbled down the slide, scraping up his side, smashing his glasses into his face, and hurting his tummy. A kid with more steady upper body strength probably would have just gone down the slide, but Nathan, not so much. It didn't help that the boy pushing him was a lot older and stronger, and it didn't help that it caught Nathan off guard either. But he just flopped like a rag doll! The Mama bear in me broke out and I snapped at poor Allen. I felt bad for Allen, but I felt even more badly for Nathan. His body is still sore today to the point that he cried after getting dressed because his underwear scraped his raw skin when he put them on.
Ugh, I'm just getting to the point where I want to scream at the people who call him naughty, or yell at him for not listening to them. I just want to scream into my pillow sometimes. Ask God why my little boys heart has to hurt so much? Why do the schools not find this disorder serious enough to want to help these kids more? I want a voice, I want to inform people that this is serious, and it needs to be looked into more. Know your kids! Know their actions and behaviors, and if something feels a bit off and your gut is telling you something about it, listen to it! Help your children! Because if you don't, no one will! Set your kids up for success, not failure. Don't let fear of how a diagnosis may reflect on you as a parent. It's not about you, it's about your kids. 1 in 20 kids have sensory issues.. Some pretty serious, some not as serious.. But they all need to be acknowledged. They all need some sort of help. Read about it, be informed and do not fear a possible diagnosis. There is help out there and there is hope! Nathan's future will be a lot better now because he's receiving the help that he needs. And now, I can say I understand him so much more. There were so many signs that he displayed since he was an infant.. I probably would have recognized the signs long ago, like around 2 years of age had I known them.
I'm hoping to convert a part of our basement into an integration therapy area. If anyone has any old bean bag chairs that they want to get rid of, I'd love to take them off of your hands! As long as there are no holes. (If they're patched that's fine) Thank you all for your support, your kind words, and prayers! I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate them. And I know Nathan will someday too. I will not give into guilt from actions of the past, but I will hang onto Jesus and the hope that he provides. Nathan has the help he needs now. Nathan has a chance at a better future, and a chance to be understood.
Friday, May 4, 2012
A big sigh of relief!
Todays appointment went great! I felt so relieved when our OT noticed Nathan's sensory seeking behaviors immediately. She said "oh we have a little sensory seeker here." All I could think was, YES!! Yes, I DO know my child, this is not just all in my head!! She said exactly what I thought was going on with Nathan. His body is seeking sensory, however his ears are sensitive. So he has a combination of over stimulation and under stimulation. He'll be starting OT this coming Monday and will go every Monday and Friday for the next 8 weeks. After that, she'll decide what steps to take next. We'll be doing home therapy as well. No plan for school quite yet. That will come with more evaluation from the OT. The school doesn't have OT as a stand alone service. In other words, since Nathan doesn't have any other underlining issues or DD, he doesn't qualify for OT at school. Nathan's teacher however is going to see if there's anything they can do.
It was so much fun watching Nathan "play" in the Sensory Integration (SI) room! Oh how he loved it! I think he's going to have so much fun in OT! He really seemed to enjoy Kate too. She's our OT. She's great with kids and really seemed to understand Nathan and catch onto his personality quite quickly. Dan and I both had a good feeling about her, and we look forward to working with her.
I can't wait to see how OT will work out for him. I'm so glad we'll be starting right away! The only downside is, his appointments are in the morning, and that's exactly when I do not have a car. :( My mom is willing to let us use her car and watch Jovie on the days she doesn't have anything going on. That's a plus! But I can see that that may get to be a lot for her after a couple of weeks. Man, it would be so nice to have a second car. I haven't felt the pinch of really needing a second car until today. Oh well, I know that everything will work itself out. God has been so faithful up to this point and I know He'll see us through this.
My sadness for Nathan has turned to hope. My nervousness has turned to joy. He was like a kid in a candy shop when he was in the SI room! Giant things to swing on, stuff to jump off of, giant bean bags to throw himself into, games to play... It was amazing! I wanted to jump right in and play with them!
Now, I can breath. Now Nathan will have the help he needs. And we'll be taught how to help him here at home. Oh, the relief!
It was so much fun watching Nathan "play" in the Sensory Integration (SI) room! Oh how he loved it! I think he's going to have so much fun in OT! He really seemed to enjoy Kate too. She's our OT. She's great with kids and really seemed to understand Nathan and catch onto his personality quite quickly. Dan and I both had a good feeling about her, and we look forward to working with her.
I can't wait to see how OT will work out for him. I'm so glad we'll be starting right away! The only downside is, his appointments are in the morning, and that's exactly when I do not have a car. :( My mom is willing to let us use her car and watch Jovie on the days she doesn't have anything going on. That's a plus! But I can see that that may get to be a lot for her after a couple of weeks. Man, it would be so nice to have a second car. I haven't felt the pinch of really needing a second car until today. Oh well, I know that everything will work itself out. God has been so faithful up to this point and I know He'll see us through this.
My sadness for Nathan has turned to hope. My nervousness has turned to joy. He was like a kid in a candy shop when he was in the SI room! Giant things to swing on, stuff to jump off of, giant bean bags to throw himself into, games to play... It was amazing! I wanted to jump right in and play with them!
Now, I can breath. Now Nathan will have the help he needs. And we'll be taught how to help him here at home. Oh, the relief!
Thursday, May 3, 2012
A BIG thank you!
I want to thank everyone who has given me words of encouragement, pointers on how to help Nathan, and love. I feel like God has brought every each one of you to me to show me that we're not alone, to show me that there is support, and to show me it's ok to just let it all out, so to speak.
I can feel God is with us during all of this. He has shown me so much love and given me so much strength. He has blessed me with a boy that is so receptive to prayer and that is a huge help!
It's so hard to see a loving boy like Nathan struggle with believing he's a "bad" boy. It's heartbreaking to see him so broken down after a hard day. It is amazing though how fast prayer can change things around for him! Sometimes he'll come up to me feeling anxious about going to school, or crying because he had a bad day. After 30 seconds of prayer he's like a new boy! God has been so incredibly faithful through all of this! I love that ever since Nathan was 3 1/2 he has known that prayer makes him feel better. When he was at his early childhood screening, he was exhausted. They wanted him to do one more activity and he wasn't having it. He was just shy of 3 1/2, it was his first day of pre-school, he had no nap, and he just wanted to go home to have a snack. I asked him, "what can I do to help you get through this last activity?" He answered immediately while crawling into my lap, "prayer!" So, I prayed for him and not even a minute later he hopped off of my lap, and finished the project just like that! Scoring well above average too! It was like God flipped a switch in him. I wonder sometimes if the woman that was helping us noticed.. I wonder if it planted a seed at all. There was another time when Nathan was incredibly sick and in a lot of pain at the Dr's office. I asked him the same question as he was screaming in pain.. What can mommy do Nathan? He cried out with big crocodile tears streaming down his face "praaayyyeer." It just amazes me. It amazes me that this little boy knows, he KNOWS that prayer works! Thank you Jesus for that! Thank you Jesus that every time I pray for my crying, scared, little boy, that you show up and take those tears away! I am so grateful to know my loving Father in Heaven. I am so grateful to know that He's on our side. I can't take away Nathan's tears, I can't heal his hurting heart, and I can't stop the lies from seeping into his brain like some sort of poisonous sludge. But God can. I don't know what I would do without Him. I thank God that I have him to protect Nathan. God's love has been so prevalent through all of this! Once again, He has swept in to take care of my aching heart. And I get to watch first hand as He takes care of Nathan's.
Thank you Father that you are a God worthy of all our praise. That you are a God that doesn't force us to kneel before your throne, rather your love makes us want to. Thank you that you're a God that loves your people, that wants to take care of your children, that wants to bless us. Thank you for being the good God that you are.. Not the condemning one that so many people think they know. Who is like you O Lord, worthy of all praise? Thank you and I love you.
I can feel God is with us during all of this. He has shown me so much love and given me so much strength. He has blessed me with a boy that is so receptive to prayer and that is a huge help!
It's so hard to see a loving boy like Nathan struggle with believing he's a "bad" boy. It's heartbreaking to see him so broken down after a hard day. It is amazing though how fast prayer can change things around for him! Sometimes he'll come up to me feeling anxious about going to school, or crying because he had a bad day. After 30 seconds of prayer he's like a new boy! God has been so incredibly faithful through all of this! I love that ever since Nathan was 3 1/2 he has known that prayer makes him feel better. When he was at his early childhood screening, he was exhausted. They wanted him to do one more activity and he wasn't having it. He was just shy of 3 1/2, it was his first day of pre-school, he had no nap, and he just wanted to go home to have a snack. I asked him, "what can I do to help you get through this last activity?" He answered immediately while crawling into my lap, "prayer!" So, I prayed for him and not even a minute later he hopped off of my lap, and finished the project just like that! Scoring well above average too! It was like God flipped a switch in him. I wonder sometimes if the woman that was helping us noticed.. I wonder if it planted a seed at all. There was another time when Nathan was incredibly sick and in a lot of pain at the Dr's office. I asked him the same question as he was screaming in pain.. What can mommy do Nathan? He cried out with big crocodile tears streaming down his face "praaayyyeer." It just amazes me. It amazes me that this little boy knows, he KNOWS that prayer works! Thank you Jesus for that! Thank you Jesus that every time I pray for my crying, scared, little boy, that you show up and take those tears away! I am so grateful to know my loving Father in Heaven. I am so grateful to know that He's on our side. I can't take away Nathan's tears, I can't heal his hurting heart, and I can't stop the lies from seeping into his brain like some sort of poisonous sludge. But God can. I don't know what I would do without Him. I thank God that I have him to protect Nathan. God's love has been so prevalent through all of this! Once again, He has swept in to take care of my aching heart. And I get to watch first hand as He takes care of Nathan's.
Thank you Father that you are a God worthy of all our praise. That you are a God that doesn't force us to kneel before your throne, rather your love makes us want to. Thank you that you're a God that loves your people, that wants to take care of your children, that wants to bless us. Thank you for being the good God that you are.. Not the condemning one that so many people think they know. Who is like you O Lord, worthy of all praise? Thank you and I love you.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Oh my aching heart...
Yesterday and this morning had some rough moments with Nathan. He had multiple breakdowns about school, and how hard it has been lately. He was excited to tell me that he got to move up on the rainbow chart and didn't get any red or yellow lights, but he quickly followed with "I tired so so hard to be a good boy Mom, and it was really hard." He looked exhausted, he was crying... my heart was breaking. This morning he was up very early. Nathan was awake when Dan got up for work at 3:45. Dan sent him back to bed, but I heard him up around 5:40... I'm not sure if he fell back to sleep or not. Had I known before I sent him off to school that he was awake when Dan was up, I would have sent him to bed instead. I have a feeling he's going to have a rough day at school today. I prayed for him twice, which seemed to help with the emotions, but he was still worried about the kids calling him a "bad boy" today. He said that one of the boys refused to sit by him yesterday and said because Nathan was "bad." I made sure to tell him over and over that he's not a bad boy, and I prayed for him again. I also did some sensory therapy before he left.. Hopefully that will help. I'm wondering if a weighted blanket at night would help him to sleep better. The only issue is, his room gets so hot, especially in the summer, that I don't know if he'll be able to handle it.
And speaking of sleep, my sleep has been terrible lately. I can't get comfortable at night because of this stupid TMJ crap. To say I hate TMJ syndrome is an understatement! My neck, jaw, and now shoulder are so sore by the time I get to bed that it's next to impossible to sleep comfortably. I can't sleep on the side of my face without pain. Sleeping on my back is rather uncomfortable as well. I found myself praying that somehow God would provide us with a Sealy Posturepedic bed. The ones where you can adjust the head to come up and the legs... What some people would call an "old persons" bed. I laid on one of those during Christmas time and I nearly cried because I was so comfortable. I probably would have charged one on my credit card if it wasn't for Dan being there. I'm starting to feel desperate for a bed like that.. especially when I'm tossing and turning half of the night. If I had money to blow, that bed would be in my bedroom.. and a 4 door car would be in my garage. :)
Anyway, please be praying for my sleep.. Having better sleep helps me to help Nathan more. When I'm exhausted, I have a short fuse, and my emotions get the best of me. Thankfully, that didn't happen until he left today. As soon as he walked to the bus stop I started sobbing. His broken little heart, how I wish I could heal it for him. How I wish I could protect him from the lies. Prayer seems to help, so I just keep doing that. I feel horrible sending him to school sometimes, but keeping him home isn't going to help him face his fears and problems in the future. Oh how I wish our damn appointment could have been weeks ago! With it getting so close to the end of the year, he probably won't have an IEP plan in place until the start of next year. UGH!!! Please keep Nathan in your prayer. Ask God to protect Nathan's tender heart. He's so sensitive. Also ask God to speak into the kids that are around Nathan, and to give his teacher wisdom as to how to help Nathan until his IEP plan is in order. Please pray that by some miracle my TMJ syndrome would be healed, and/or that we could get that bed I mentioned. I prefer healing, but I'll take the bed too. :) Also, Jovie has been going to bed late and waking up rather early. Please be praying for her as well... I guess praying for ALL of our rest would work. Pardon my discombobulation.. I'm utterly exhausted beyond belief.
Thank you all.
And speaking of sleep, my sleep has been terrible lately. I can't get comfortable at night because of this stupid TMJ crap. To say I hate TMJ syndrome is an understatement! My neck, jaw, and now shoulder are so sore by the time I get to bed that it's next to impossible to sleep comfortably. I can't sleep on the side of my face without pain. Sleeping on my back is rather uncomfortable as well. I found myself praying that somehow God would provide us with a Sealy Posturepedic bed. The ones where you can adjust the head to come up and the legs... What some people would call an "old persons" bed. I laid on one of those during Christmas time and I nearly cried because I was so comfortable. I probably would have charged one on my credit card if it wasn't for Dan being there. I'm starting to feel desperate for a bed like that.. especially when I'm tossing and turning half of the night. If I had money to blow, that bed would be in my bedroom.. and a 4 door car would be in my garage. :)
Anyway, please be praying for my sleep.. Having better sleep helps me to help Nathan more. When I'm exhausted, I have a short fuse, and my emotions get the best of me. Thankfully, that didn't happen until he left today. As soon as he walked to the bus stop I started sobbing. His broken little heart, how I wish I could heal it for him. How I wish I could protect him from the lies. Prayer seems to help, so I just keep doing that. I feel horrible sending him to school sometimes, but keeping him home isn't going to help him face his fears and problems in the future. Oh how I wish our damn appointment could have been weeks ago! With it getting so close to the end of the year, he probably won't have an IEP plan in place until the start of next year. UGH!!! Please keep Nathan in your prayer. Ask God to protect Nathan's tender heart. He's so sensitive. Also ask God to speak into the kids that are around Nathan, and to give his teacher wisdom as to how to help Nathan until his IEP plan is in order. Please pray that by some miracle my TMJ syndrome would be healed, and/or that we could get that bed I mentioned. I prefer healing, but I'll take the bed too. :) Also, Jovie has been going to bed late and waking up rather early. Please be praying for her as well... I guess praying for ALL of our rest would work. Pardon my discombobulation.. I'm utterly exhausted beyond belief.
Thank you all.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
One step at a time.
Nathan came down into our room this morning, and like every morning for the past week he asked if he could stay home from school. I responded, by reminding him that he was going to a fun play today.. Then that's when the fear came in. He starting crying, telling me he was scared because the last play was too loud and he had a hard time sitting still. He was afraid that he was going to get in trouble for not being able to sit still. Fear of getting in trouble seems to be an issue that Nathan recently started having. He's pretty sensitive, and can sometimes take it really hard if he's firmly talked to. My heart sank a little for him. As I fought through my grogginess, I started to think rationally. I usually don't pull Nathan from situations, I usually want him to try to figure out how to cope and deal with things. But in actuality, we do not have any sensory equipment yet. He does not have a straight diagnosis yet. Chances are the play would be too much for him. Chances are he wouldn't be able to sit still. Chances are he would be disruptive to the other students. And chances are he would get in trouble. I decided to let him stay home. Usually, I would make him go. But today, I felt my better judgement would be to let him stay home. Until we have a weighted vest or other sensory tools, I don't think Nathan would be able to handle that type of setting all to well. And in all honesty it's probably a help for the teacher and chaperons to not have him go. Even after I told him he could stay home, he kept going on about how he doesn't like how plays are too loud. I just snuggled with him and told him it's ok, because he's not going. It took him a good 15 minutes to relax. I've never seen that in him before. That worry, that anxiety. It broke my heart.
The other night before bed, his prayer request was that he'll sleep well, have good dreams, have a fun day at school, and that he wouldn't be one of the "naughty kids" anymore. He said, "I don't like being naughty mom. I try to be good." I know him, and I know he's trying.. He's trying so hard and he keeps failing. That's how he sees it. He hates failure just like the rest of us. I try to explain that we're getting him some help so his brain will listen to him, it seems to give him some relief when I bring it up. That's how he described it. he tries to tell his brain what to do, but it doesn't listen to him. I used to think it was a cute excuse, but now I think he's telling the truth. Now I'm starting to see him struggle emotionally, and it's painful to watch. I'm trying to stay strong for him. Hide my tears, tell him he's getting help, that he's a wonderful boy with a big, big heart. That he's not naughty, and that I know he's trying. Give him hugs and kisses, and more hugs, and more hugs. And of course, lots of snuggles. One of his love languages is affectionate touch, so it's a blessing that his therapy will require a lot of that. Last night I gave him a big hug before I left and he said "awww Mom, thank you for the hug." He LOVES hugs. I love that he loves hugs, because I love hugging him. He's always been my little cuddle bug. He broke down a little after his hug, so I asked what was wrong. He said that he was talked to firmly a few times today at school and that it's really hard for him to be talked to that way. I gave him another big hug and said a prayer out loud for him. When I was done, he said he felt a lot better. I wish I could take his pain away. I wish I could make this easier for him RIGHT NOW. The school can do nothing for him until he's officially diagnosed. Do I go to his school a couple times a day for hugs, massages, and back scratches until we get a weighted vest or something? I just don't know what I can do to help him when he's at school.
Please be praying that Jesus will protect Nathan's heart and mind. That Nathan won't fear failure, and that lies that he's a "naughty boy" will not stick to him. Please pray against anxiety and worry as well. And that God will give me wisdom as to how I can help Nathan when he's hurting.
Thank you all so much!
Jen
The other night before bed, his prayer request was that he'll sleep well, have good dreams, have a fun day at school, and that he wouldn't be one of the "naughty kids" anymore. He said, "I don't like being naughty mom. I try to be good." I know him, and I know he's trying.. He's trying so hard and he keeps failing. That's how he sees it. He hates failure just like the rest of us. I try to explain that we're getting him some help so his brain will listen to him, it seems to give him some relief when I bring it up. That's how he described it. he tries to tell his brain what to do, but it doesn't listen to him. I used to think it was a cute excuse, but now I think he's telling the truth. Now I'm starting to see him struggle emotionally, and it's painful to watch. I'm trying to stay strong for him. Hide my tears, tell him he's getting help, that he's a wonderful boy with a big, big heart. That he's not naughty, and that I know he's trying. Give him hugs and kisses, and more hugs, and more hugs. And of course, lots of snuggles. One of his love languages is affectionate touch, so it's a blessing that his therapy will require a lot of that. Last night I gave him a big hug before I left and he said "awww Mom, thank you for the hug." He LOVES hugs. I love that he loves hugs, because I love hugging him. He's always been my little cuddle bug. He broke down a little after his hug, so I asked what was wrong. He said that he was talked to firmly a few times today at school and that it's really hard for him to be talked to that way. I gave him another big hug and said a prayer out loud for him. When I was done, he said he felt a lot better. I wish I could take his pain away. I wish I could make this easier for him RIGHT NOW. The school can do nothing for him until he's officially diagnosed. Do I go to his school a couple times a day for hugs, massages, and back scratches until we get a weighted vest or something? I just don't know what I can do to help him when he's at school.
Please be praying that Jesus will protect Nathan's heart and mind. That Nathan won't fear failure, and that lies that he's a "naughty boy" will not stick to him. Please pray against anxiety and worry as well. And that God will give me wisdom as to how I can help Nathan when he's hurting.
Thank you all so much!
Jen
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
I always wondered.....
Yesterday was a rough day at school for Nathan. Once he was home he was ok though. Dan played Nerf guns with him, he watched some PBS and ate dinner. During his reading time last night he started to move a lot. Instead of my usual "Nathan please! Can you just sit still?" I just naturally started scratching his back. It was amazing! He immediately stopped wiggling around and rocking, and he sat still for the entire 15 minutes while I read to him. When we were done, he asked me to continue scratching his back. I was a little surprised because I had already been doing it so long and thought that it would have driven him crazy by then. But I guess not.
As I scratched his back, arms, and head I remembered how I could run my fingers on his back for 30 minutes and he wouldn't be bothered at all by it. I love getting my back rubbed like that too, but after a couple minutes of it, the persons fingers start to feel like nails and I can't stand it. But Nathan on the other hand, never seems to tire from it. I've always wondered why, but now it all makes sense. It makes sense that he always wants his back rubbed at night, and before naps, and even just as we're snuggling on the couch. It makes sense to me that the only time he seems to have 100% control of his body is when he's visually stimulated (watching TV). It all makes sense now. What a relief!
Now I just wait, we wait for the supplies we need for him to bring to school to help him along. We wait for the diagnosis, so he can get the help he needs. I wish we didn't have to wait. But in the mean time I'll continue to do what I can to help him along. Last night I did back scratches and rubs for 15 minutes before he went to sleep. However, he woke up an hour later bawling. When I asked what was wrong, he said "I'm worried because I'm not doing well in school." My heart broke. He's doing amazing academically, but has a hard time sitting still and listening. I told him we're getting help with that and he seemed almost relieved. Just laying next to him, having that extra touch along with the blankets seemed to calm him down. He asked for more back scratches, and he feel asleep peacefully. This morning I did some more back and arm scratches, and rubs and squeezes along his arms and shoulders. I'm hoping it will help with his morning at school. Since the teachers are not allowed to touch the students, especially without the diagnosis, I thought about visiting once Dan got home and doing some more sensory stuff with him to see if it will help with his afternoon.
God has been so faithful through all of this! I felt so loved, encouraged, and affirmed by him yesterday. While I was praying yesterday about what to do with all the thoughts on my heart and mind, I felt like he was telling me to blog about it. Once I did it was instant therapy. Just to get everything off my chest felt so good. Then there was just an wonderful outpouring of love and support and prayer for us. I felt like it was Gods way of letting me know that I'm not alone. (well besides Dan of course!) That there's a community of people out there that understand what I am going through, and they are more than happy to help out. So thank you all for reaching out, sending your thoughts, love, and prayers. Giving wonderful insight and wisdom. I really appreciate it!
So, we'll see what today brings with Nathan. I'm praying that the sensory therapy this morning helped.
God bless.
As I scratched his back, arms, and head I remembered how I could run my fingers on his back for 30 minutes and he wouldn't be bothered at all by it. I love getting my back rubbed like that too, but after a couple minutes of it, the persons fingers start to feel like nails and I can't stand it. But Nathan on the other hand, never seems to tire from it. I've always wondered why, but now it all makes sense. It makes sense that he always wants his back rubbed at night, and before naps, and even just as we're snuggling on the couch. It makes sense to me that the only time he seems to have 100% control of his body is when he's visually stimulated (watching TV). It all makes sense now. What a relief!
Now I just wait, we wait for the supplies we need for him to bring to school to help him along. We wait for the diagnosis, so he can get the help he needs. I wish we didn't have to wait. But in the mean time I'll continue to do what I can to help him along. Last night I did back scratches and rubs for 15 minutes before he went to sleep. However, he woke up an hour later bawling. When I asked what was wrong, he said "I'm worried because I'm not doing well in school." My heart broke. He's doing amazing academically, but has a hard time sitting still and listening. I told him we're getting help with that and he seemed almost relieved. Just laying next to him, having that extra touch along with the blankets seemed to calm him down. He asked for more back scratches, and he feel asleep peacefully. This morning I did some more back and arm scratches, and rubs and squeezes along his arms and shoulders. I'm hoping it will help with his morning at school. Since the teachers are not allowed to touch the students, especially without the diagnosis, I thought about visiting once Dan got home and doing some more sensory stuff with him to see if it will help with his afternoon.
God has been so faithful through all of this! I felt so loved, encouraged, and affirmed by him yesterday. While I was praying yesterday about what to do with all the thoughts on my heart and mind, I felt like he was telling me to blog about it. Once I did it was instant therapy. Just to get everything off my chest felt so good. Then there was just an wonderful outpouring of love and support and prayer for us. I felt like it was Gods way of letting me know that I'm not alone. (well besides Dan of course!) That there's a community of people out there that understand what I am going through, and they are more than happy to help out. So thank you all for reaching out, sending your thoughts, love, and prayers. Giving wonderful insight and wisdom. I really appreciate it!
So, we'll see what today brings with Nathan. I'm praying that the sensory therapy this morning helped.
God bless.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
An update on life.
The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions for me. At Nathan's last conferences his teacher and I talked about what we have been noticing in Nathan. The final thought from his teacher is that she's convinced he has a sensory disorder. God must have been with me at the time she mentioned it because I was able to accept it and test it out. Whereas last time she mentioned it I was too scared to find a diagnosis.
After doing some research, I came to the conclusion that we had to get him referred to a occupational therapist. Nathan is a text book example of a child with SPD. The type that he may have is very similar to ADHD, however his teacher, the Dr who referred him to the OT, and myself don't think he has ADHD. Nathan has a strong ability to be able to focus for extended periods of time in school and at home. He also doesn't display displaced anger and frustration like many kids with ADHD, and he has no problem learning new things. In fact, he's incredibly smart. Nathan appears to have a sensory seeking issue. Children with this tend to have difficulty listening, following directions, knowing where there body is in space, and they seek out high intensity activities, or increased durations of sensory stimulation. They tend to get into people's space because they crave touch so much due to needing stimulation. They will intentionally bump or crash into things, and they car stare at optical things, such as televisions, and other visual stimulants for hours. The children under this category don't often throw temper tantrums, they just seem to be over active and have a hard time transitioning from play time to quiet time. They are not intentionally not following directions from teachers, obviously, but it often appears that they are.
I have wondered for a long time if there was something going on with Nathan other than "high energy." He had a difficult time sleeping as an infant, and when he became a toddler, he always desired to be snuggled, have his backed rubbed, or just need to be sleeping next to me in order to sleep. He still needs his back rubbed every night before bed. And he still tries to sleep with me at night. Not to mention that he's very energetic, sensitive to sound, sometimes light, he tries really hard to focus in large groups but finds that it's next to impossible. He explains it by saying, "I try to make my body sit still, but my brain won't let it. My brain feels dizzy and I don't like it."
As a mother it's incredibly hard. My heart breaks for Nathan. Yet, I am so relieved to know there's help for Nathan. I feel so many emotions with this. Sadness, relief, fear, relief, anger, relief. It's hard when I hear people label him and say he "misbehaves." When I know now that he can't control it. It's wonderful that now we can help him process this, and that we can set him up to succeed rather than fail. That we can know what expectations to have of him, and that we'll have an OT helping us along the way. I also found a wonderful website that has been so incredibly helpful and a few great friends that have prayed for me along this new journey that God has placed us in. Support is so important during this time and I don't know what I'd do without it. I love my little boy so much. He has an amazing, loving heart. He wants nothing but to do good things, yet he gets labeled a "bad boy." For that my heart breaks. He has such a hard time when he fails. He may not show it to teachers, but I see it in him when we pray together at night. I am grateful for Mrs. Talrico, Nathan's teacher. Her encouragement to have me look into this has been so helpful. And it has given me hope. She sees his good heart, and his good nature through the difficulties he has, and that is so incredibly helpful.
Now I just wait until we get the diagnosis. His appointment is May 3rd. After all the talks I've had with his preschool teacher, and his current teachers, and my own speculations, I feel that the OT will be telling me information that I already know. But now, there's help.
After doing some research, I came to the conclusion that we had to get him referred to a occupational therapist. Nathan is a text book example of a child with SPD. The type that he may have is very similar to ADHD, however his teacher, the Dr who referred him to the OT, and myself don't think he has ADHD. Nathan has a strong ability to be able to focus for extended periods of time in school and at home. He also doesn't display displaced anger and frustration like many kids with ADHD, and he has no problem learning new things. In fact, he's incredibly smart. Nathan appears to have a sensory seeking issue. Children with this tend to have difficulty listening, following directions, knowing where there body is in space, and they seek out high intensity activities, or increased durations of sensory stimulation. They tend to get into people's space because they crave touch so much due to needing stimulation. They will intentionally bump or crash into things, and they car stare at optical things, such as televisions, and other visual stimulants for hours. The children under this category don't often throw temper tantrums, they just seem to be over active and have a hard time transitioning from play time to quiet time. They are not intentionally not following directions from teachers, obviously, but it often appears that they are.
I have wondered for a long time if there was something going on with Nathan other than "high energy." He had a difficult time sleeping as an infant, and when he became a toddler, he always desired to be snuggled, have his backed rubbed, or just need to be sleeping next to me in order to sleep. He still needs his back rubbed every night before bed. And he still tries to sleep with me at night. Not to mention that he's very energetic, sensitive to sound, sometimes light, he tries really hard to focus in large groups but finds that it's next to impossible. He explains it by saying, "I try to make my body sit still, but my brain won't let it. My brain feels dizzy and I don't like it."
As a mother it's incredibly hard. My heart breaks for Nathan. Yet, I am so relieved to know there's help for Nathan. I feel so many emotions with this. Sadness, relief, fear, relief, anger, relief. It's hard when I hear people label him and say he "misbehaves." When I know now that he can't control it. It's wonderful that now we can help him process this, and that we can set him up to succeed rather than fail. That we can know what expectations to have of him, and that we'll have an OT helping us along the way. I also found a wonderful website that has been so incredibly helpful and a few great friends that have prayed for me along this new journey that God has placed us in. Support is so important during this time and I don't know what I'd do without it. I love my little boy so much. He has an amazing, loving heart. He wants nothing but to do good things, yet he gets labeled a "bad boy." For that my heart breaks. He has such a hard time when he fails. He may not show it to teachers, but I see it in him when we pray together at night. I am grateful for Mrs. Talrico, Nathan's teacher. Her encouragement to have me look into this has been so helpful. And it has given me hope. She sees his good heart, and his good nature through the difficulties he has, and that is so incredibly helpful.
Now I just wait until we get the diagnosis. His appointment is May 3rd. After all the talks I've had with his preschool teacher, and his current teachers, and my own speculations, I feel that the OT will be telling me information that I already know. But now, there's help.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Finally, finally an update!
So the winter bug had me down for at least a week. The kids got it too. So, I went a whole 9 days without working out. And I probably didn't drink as much water as I should have. I was utterly exhausted and hated that I couldn't work out. It was really easy during that week to not care as much about what I was eating either. I just wanted whatever was quick and didn't require too much effort.
However, now that I'm better I hopped right back into working out! This past Monday I went to the Y with Dan. I did about 30 minutes of cardio on the elliptical and lifted some weights. Yesterday I did 45 minutes of Wii Zumba fit, then went onto the Y later in the afternoon and ran/walked the track and did some weight lifting.
Working out at the Y is great, however I notice I have some insecurity issues. I don't know how to use a lot of the machines and if I can't figure them out within a minute, I tend to shy away because someone else is waiting for the machine. I'm thinking I need to ask someone to show me how to use and adjust some of them. Due to me being so short, I have to adjust most of them. Adjusting the weights isn't a problem, just the machine itself. It does have a description on each machine, however I'm more of a hands on learner, so I don't pick up the little picture that easily. I need someone to show me, or I just need to watch someone use the machine. Either way, the gym has really dredged up some insecurities in me. I'm way more comfortable working out at home, however getting to the gym is great. I just need to shake off the insecurity and not let the people who seem annoyed with my inexperience get to me.
I have notice a lot of difference in my legs. I have muscle tone again! :) Now, if I can do the same with my gut!
Wish me luck!
However, now that I'm better I hopped right back into working out! This past Monday I went to the Y with Dan. I did about 30 minutes of cardio on the elliptical and lifted some weights. Yesterday I did 45 minutes of Wii Zumba fit, then went onto the Y later in the afternoon and ran/walked the track and did some weight lifting.
Working out at the Y is great, however I notice I have some insecurity issues. I don't know how to use a lot of the machines and if I can't figure them out within a minute, I tend to shy away because someone else is waiting for the machine. I'm thinking I need to ask someone to show me how to use and adjust some of them. Due to me being so short, I have to adjust most of them. Adjusting the weights isn't a problem, just the machine itself. It does have a description on each machine, however I'm more of a hands on learner, so I don't pick up the little picture that easily. I need someone to show me, or I just need to watch someone use the machine. Either way, the gym has really dredged up some insecurities in me. I'm way more comfortable working out at home, however getting to the gym is great. I just need to shake off the insecurity and not let the people who seem annoyed with my inexperience get to me.
I have notice a lot of difference in my legs. I have muscle tone again! :) Now, if I can do the same with my gut!
Wish me luck!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Sooo... it has been awhile.
So I've noticed that it's pretty difficult to keep up a blog with two kids! I've stopped typing up what I eat each day because I get so far behind and then I feel too lazy and too time crunched to type up a weeks worth of food I ate. I'm still eating pretty healthy. I've snuck in a few little treats here and there, however I'm still below 1800 calories a day so I'm pretty happy with that! I've been working out every other day, however I'd like to get in the daily routine of it. Today I completed day 1 of Jillian Michaels 30 day shred.. I feel amazing! I used to be so intimidated by cardio work outs due to my asthma, however I feel myself getting through them pretty well now! In fact, I'm starting to LOVE cardio!! Something I've hated for a long time. In the past I would do 20 minutes of cardio followed by 4 hours of coughing due to my asthma. However I feel like it's not as bad as it used to be! Maybe I'm growing out of it? My lungs do feel a little irritated after work outs every now and then, but it's not consistent like it used to be. It all really depends on the amount of sleep I've had and how much energy I have. On nights that I haven't slept well, they seem to get irritated after working out.
So anyway,
I'm still doing Zumba Fit on my Wii and loving it! The other day I was a bit discourage though. I stepped on the scale to only see that I'm back to my starting weight. :( Very discouraging. However, I can tell that my thighs, waist, arms, butt, and face are getting smaller. My clothes fit better and (Warning TMI alert!!) my butt fat and lower back fat don't melt into one another anymore! I actually have a curve in the small of my back now! I'm actually getting a butt!!! NO MORE MOM BUTT!! Yay!! My energy is still high, my spirits are up, and I feel great. I'm just staying away from the scale for a bit. I do build muscle mass rather quickly and easily (must be the Norwegian in me) so that could easily be why I'm up a few pounds since I last weighed in. I do have muscle definition in my thighs again, so that's a plus!
My TJM and back pain have subsided a ton! Also my IT bands in my legs are now longer inflamed! The other day my cat walked on them and it didn't kill anymore! :) I am so excited about that! Imagine how it would feel if you fell on your keys when they were in your pocket.. that's how it felt every time I even bumped the side of my leg on something. My lower back feels great and I sleep a lot better now. So I know there has been some big changes! Just not on the scale. However, that will come with time. What matters is that I'm losing inches and feeling great!
So that's my update. I apologize for any run on sentences, infractions, or any other grammatical errors. :)
Ciao!
So anyway,
I'm still doing Zumba Fit on my Wii and loving it! The other day I was a bit discourage though. I stepped on the scale to only see that I'm back to my starting weight. :( Very discouraging. However, I can tell that my thighs, waist, arms, butt, and face are getting smaller. My clothes fit better and (Warning TMI alert!!) my butt fat and lower back fat don't melt into one another anymore! I actually have a curve in the small of my back now! I'm actually getting a butt!!! NO MORE MOM BUTT!! Yay!! My energy is still high, my spirits are up, and I feel great. I'm just staying away from the scale for a bit. I do build muscle mass rather quickly and easily (must be the Norwegian in me) so that could easily be why I'm up a few pounds since I last weighed in. I do have muscle definition in my thighs again, so that's a plus!
My TJM and back pain have subsided a ton! Also my IT bands in my legs are now longer inflamed! The other day my cat walked on them and it didn't kill anymore! :) I am so excited about that! Imagine how it would feel if you fell on your keys when they were in your pocket.. that's how it felt every time I even bumped the side of my leg on something. My lower back feels great and I sleep a lot better now. So I know there has been some big changes! Just not on the scale. However, that will come with time. What matters is that I'm losing inches and feeling great!
So that's my update. I apologize for any run on sentences, infractions, or any other grammatical errors. :)
Ciao!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Still trying to catch up....
Ok, so I was wrong about Thursday's intake.. I did not have a bowl of cereal for breakfast.. I had a whole wheat tortilla filled with ground beef, black beans, and brown rice.. with a little bit of cheese, salsa, and light sour cream. I had a total of only 36 oz of water that day.. And my lunch/dinner was in the previous blog.. Oh, and I had a cup of coffee with creamer.
Friday:
Breakfast.. 1.5 cups of Cheerio's with 1% milk. 10 oz coffee with 2 Tbsp cream and 12oz of water.
Lunch: a 6in sub on whole wheat with ham, lettuce, and mayo.. with 24 oz of water.
I had 16 more ounces of water and an 4oz cup of coffee with 1 tbsp cream.
Dinner: 2 cups spinach, a chicken breast, 2 tbsp balsamic vinaigrette and an apple.
I snacked on 9 Mike and Ikes while watching a movie with Nathan.. and had 22 more ounces of water.
No work out on Friday.. I had a horrible headache and nausea. Ick.
Saturday's breakfast wasn't much. I had a few bites of scrambled eggs with salsa on them, 1 slice of bacon.. 8oz coffee with 2 tbsp cream.. I didn't finish it though.. 12 oz of water and a 12oz fruit, milk, and wheat grass smoothie.
Lunch: 3/4 of a whole wheat tortilla with natural peanut butter and sugar free preserves. and 12oz water.
Plus 1/2 of a graham cracker that I snatched from Jovie. :)
Dinner: 3 slices of frozen pepperoni pizza.. I picked off most of the pepperoni.. 12 oz water.
At the Surprise party I had 2 peach martinis ... so delicious! 5 16oz glasses of water. A piece of B-day cake, and some smoked cheese fondu with chicken, grapes, apples, and beef.. about 7 carrot slices with veggie dip, 2 peach candies that were in my drinks.. and 1/4 of a chocolate chip oatmeal cookie that my Mother in law baked with Nathan..
I over did it a bit on Saturday that's for sure. Not so much with how much food I consumed.. but what foods I chose to eat.
Sunday was tons better however. I got an amazing work out in! I worked legs, lower and upper abdominals, lower back.. did some stretching, shadow boxing, jump rope, and jumping jacks and high knees.
I had 62 ounces of water, 12 ounces of coffee and a total of 3.5 oz of creamer.
Breakfast, I had 1 package of Oat Revolution oatmeal.
Lunch: BP&J and an apple. And an oatmeal choc. chip cookie.
Snack: a banana
Dinner: 1 Serving of pork roast, with a spinach and arugula salad topped with craisins, almonds and balsamic vinaigrette. Plus, a mix of fresh green and yellow beans.
Whew! Moving on to today.
Breakfast: 1cup Multi grain Cheerio's with 1% milk and 12 oz of water.
Snack: Banana, another oatmeal choc chip cookie, and 12 oz of water.
Lunch: A turkey sandwich on whole wheat with Miracle Whip (1tbsp) and mustard and colby jack cheese and romaine lettuce. And 12 oz of water.
10 oz coffee with 1.5 Tbsp of creamer and 12 oz of water.
1 piece of chewy peppermint candy 1/3 of an oatmeal choc chip cookie (DAMN THOSE THINGS!!)
and 12 oz of water.
Dinner: Cream cheese chicken.. yes, it's as unhealthy as it sounds believe me!
A chicken breast stuffed with 1.5 Tbsp of cream cheese wrapped in 2 slices of bacon.. delicious.. but evil! However, I love it!
Along with that, I had green beans with almonds and my usual salad and 10 oz of water.
So, that's that.
I just wanted to clarify that this isn't exactly a diet, it's a life change. I'm not using food for an emotional need anymore. I'm not cutting anything completely out.. If I want McDonalds some day, I'll get some.. I'm just not allowing myself to over do it like I used to. I'm also working out regularly. My clothes are already starting to fit differently. I haven't weighed myself yet because I don't have a scale.. I usually jump on Mandy's when we're at Mom's group on Mondays :) .. but it was canceled today. I can tell that my mid section is already going down and it has only been 10 days. It's probably all the water weight that left. Anyway, I feel amazing! My body doesn't get horribly sore after work outs anymore. I still feel it the next day, but I can still move and work out. I've done 30 squats already today when the Bender ball between my legs.. Wow, that makes my muscles burn like crazy! I love it! I'll probably throw in 20 minutes of Zumba before bed too.
Well, time to go tuck Nathan into bed!
Ciao!
Friday:
Breakfast.. 1.5 cups of Cheerio's with 1% milk. 10 oz coffee with 2 Tbsp cream and 12oz of water.
Lunch: a 6in sub on whole wheat with ham, lettuce, and mayo.. with 24 oz of water.
I had 16 more ounces of water and an 4oz cup of coffee with 1 tbsp cream.
Dinner: 2 cups spinach, a chicken breast, 2 tbsp balsamic vinaigrette and an apple.
I snacked on 9 Mike and Ikes while watching a movie with Nathan.. and had 22 more ounces of water.
No work out on Friday.. I had a horrible headache and nausea. Ick.
Saturday's breakfast wasn't much. I had a few bites of scrambled eggs with salsa on them, 1 slice of bacon.. 8oz coffee with 2 tbsp cream.. I didn't finish it though.. 12 oz of water and a 12oz fruit, milk, and wheat grass smoothie.
Lunch: 3/4 of a whole wheat tortilla with natural peanut butter and sugar free preserves. and 12oz water.
Plus 1/2 of a graham cracker that I snatched from Jovie. :)
Dinner: 3 slices of frozen pepperoni pizza.. I picked off most of the pepperoni.. 12 oz water.
At the Surprise party I had 2 peach martinis ... so delicious! 5 16oz glasses of water. A piece of B-day cake, and some smoked cheese fondu with chicken, grapes, apples, and beef.. about 7 carrot slices with veggie dip, 2 peach candies that were in my drinks.. and 1/4 of a chocolate chip oatmeal cookie that my Mother in law baked with Nathan..
I over did it a bit on Saturday that's for sure. Not so much with how much food I consumed.. but what foods I chose to eat.
Sunday was tons better however. I got an amazing work out in! I worked legs, lower and upper abdominals, lower back.. did some stretching, shadow boxing, jump rope, and jumping jacks and high knees.
I had 62 ounces of water, 12 ounces of coffee and a total of 3.5 oz of creamer.
Breakfast, I had 1 package of Oat Revolution oatmeal.
Lunch: BP&J and an apple. And an oatmeal choc. chip cookie.
Snack: a banana
Dinner: 1 Serving of pork roast, with a spinach and arugula salad topped with craisins, almonds and balsamic vinaigrette. Plus, a mix of fresh green and yellow beans.
Whew! Moving on to today.
Breakfast: 1cup Multi grain Cheerio's with 1% milk and 12 oz of water.
Snack: Banana, another oatmeal choc chip cookie, and 12 oz of water.
Lunch: A turkey sandwich on whole wheat with Miracle Whip (1tbsp) and mustard and colby jack cheese and romaine lettuce. And 12 oz of water.
10 oz coffee with 1.5 Tbsp of creamer and 12 oz of water.
1 piece of chewy peppermint candy 1/3 of an oatmeal choc chip cookie (DAMN THOSE THINGS!!)
and 12 oz of water.
Dinner: Cream cheese chicken.. yes, it's as unhealthy as it sounds believe me!
A chicken breast stuffed with 1.5 Tbsp of cream cheese wrapped in 2 slices of bacon.. delicious.. but evil! However, I love it!
Along with that, I had green beans with almonds and my usual salad and 10 oz of water.
So, that's that.
I just wanted to clarify that this isn't exactly a diet, it's a life change. I'm not using food for an emotional need anymore. I'm not cutting anything completely out.. If I want McDonalds some day, I'll get some.. I'm just not allowing myself to over do it like I used to. I'm also working out regularly. My clothes are already starting to fit differently. I haven't weighed myself yet because I don't have a scale.. I usually jump on Mandy's when we're at Mom's group on Mondays :) .. but it was canceled today. I can tell that my mid section is already going down and it has only been 10 days. It's probably all the water weight that left. Anyway, I feel amazing! My body doesn't get horribly sore after work outs anymore. I still feel it the next day, but I can still move and work out. I've done 30 squats already today when the Bender ball between my legs.. Wow, that makes my muscles burn like crazy! I love it! I'll probably throw in 20 minutes of Zumba before bed too.
Well, time to go tuck Nathan into bed!
Ciao!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Trying to catch up on the blogging! :)
Ok, so this past week has been very, very busy so keeping up with my blog was next to impossible! Thursday we were gone most of the day, Friday I wasn't feeling well at all.. I had the headache from HELL and a stomach ache to go with it.. and half of Sat I was out of commission with stomach issues. But, I'm feeling much, much better now! Sat was by far the hardest day so far. Due to not feeling well physically, and emotionally (I was really crabby) I was just having a flat out crap day from the start. It got better towards the evening though! (Thank goodness!) I didn't really eat much of anything on Saturday until the late evening.. NOT GOOD! However, it was wonderful food, at a wonderful surprise party, for a wonderful woman, so no regrets here! :) In all honesty I'm way, way too lazy to type out everything I ate since Thursday on here.. I'm just going to try to keep it simple..
Thursday, Not enough water.. I was gone for 3.5 hours in the middle of the day and didn't have access to water.. (I was at a funeral) I could have gotten up to grab some water, but it would have been difficult. Anyway, Thursday I did not put in nearly enough calories either. I had 3/4 c cheerios with milk for breakfast, a cup of coffee, and two glasses of water.. then it was off to the church for Pat's celebration of life ceremony.. I had a delicious sandwich there and had 3 more 12oz of water the rest of the day.. oh and I had 1 little bar for desert.. The old Jen would have had 6 of those puppies! They were so darn good!! That's basically all I had on Thursday.. which started the downward spiral NO ENERGY... I'll continue the rest of the weekend tomorrow.. I have to get Nathan to bed and Dan will be heading to bed now so it's off of the computer for this gal! So... TO BE CONTINUED.. :)
Thursday, Not enough water.. I was gone for 3.5 hours in the middle of the day and didn't have access to water.. (I was at a funeral) I could have gotten up to grab some water, but it would have been difficult. Anyway, Thursday I did not put in nearly enough calories either. I had 3/4 c cheerios with milk for breakfast, a cup of coffee, and two glasses of water.. then it was off to the church for Pat's celebration of life ceremony.. I had a delicious sandwich there and had 3 more 12oz of water the rest of the day.. oh and I had 1 little bar for desert.. The old Jen would have had 6 of those puppies! They were so darn good!! That's basically all I had on Thursday.. which started the downward spiral NO ENERGY... I'll continue the rest of the weekend tomorrow.. I have to get Nathan to bed and Dan will be heading to bed now so it's off of the computer for this gal! So... TO BE CONTINUED.. :)
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Update
I just wanted to say that I'm still sticking to my life change fairly easily and incredibly happily. I just haven't blogged about it due to being out of commission for the majority of the day with a headache and upset stomach and today I still have an icky stomach and no appetite today... I had a few bites of scrambled eggs and 1 piece of bacon for breakfast with a fruit and wheat grass smoothie today.. nothing sat well. So we'll see how the day goes. When I have the time, and I'm feeling better, I'll type my meals out from the past couple of days.
Thanks!
Jen
Thanks!
Jen
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Feeling better every day!
Yesterday was an amazing day for me! My calorie intake was healthy, and I burned almost 400 of them away by working out. I felt so happy and energetic, rather than tired, crabby, and bogged down. I had some awesome prayer time in the morning before Jovie woke up, had some wonderful company over for a couple of hours. Had a healthy lunch, had a blast doing Zumba fit on my Wii for 30 minutes while Dan napped, had some delicious Cold Fusion, and got to join God in doing some of His amazing work in this fallen world. It was all out a wonderful day. I can't remember the last time I felt so happy and full of life! I also watched some videos on crocheting and starting practicing. I'm not going to wait for things to fall into my lab anymore, if I want to be healthy, I'm going to make the changes to do so, if I want to crochet, I'm going to learn, if I want to be a better mom and wife, I'm going to love more, be less selfish, and open to change. Period. I feel so motivated and I feel the help, love, and encouragement from my loving heavenly father ever step of the way. It's awesome!
So here's my menu from yesterday:
3/4 C caramel cheerios with roughly 1/3 cup whole milk (we ran out of 1%)
8-10oz coffee with 2 tbsp creamer
12oz water
Snack was skipped because I was chatting with a lovely friend. :)
Lunch:
Black beans, ground turkey, and brown rice wrapped in a whole wheat tortilla with 1 1/2 tsp of light sour cream, a pinch of mozzarella seasoned with taco seasoning, and 1 1/2 tsp salsa with about 1/3 c baby spinach. A small apple and 24 oz of water.
Insert 30 minute zumba workout here..
Snack: Herbalife (cold fusion) shake, with PDM, tea and 1 shot of aloe.. Oh I love Cold fusion! I forgot how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE Cold Fusion!
and 12 more ounces of water.
Worked my arms for about 10 minutes or so
Dinner time:
1c raw spinach, 1/4c shredded mozzarella, 1/8c sliced almonds, 1/4c craisins, and 1 1/2 tsp of balsamic vinaigrette. Joined with what I had for lunch minus the spinach on the wrap because I forgot to put it on there. (It was left overs night for dinner)
I honestly don't know if I'm putting down enough calories a day, I don't feel starved by any means, however I read that with working out, I should eat 1880 calories to lose weight at a healthy pace, however, I don't think I'm putting in that much. I'm not sure if I should go by what the books say, or by how my body feels. I won't let myself go hungry, I want this weight loss to be healthy, especially since it's not just about losing weight, it's about being healthy. I should probably throw a chicken breast in with my salads to add a few calories and more protein to my day. Any suggestions would be great!
Thanks!
So here's my menu from yesterday:
3/4 C caramel cheerios with roughly 1/3 cup whole milk (we ran out of 1%)
8-10oz coffee with 2 tbsp creamer
12oz water
Snack was skipped because I was chatting with a lovely friend. :)
Lunch:
Black beans, ground turkey, and brown rice wrapped in a whole wheat tortilla with 1 1/2 tsp of light sour cream, a pinch of mozzarella seasoned with taco seasoning, and 1 1/2 tsp salsa with about 1/3 c baby spinach. A small apple and 24 oz of water.
Insert 30 minute zumba workout here..
Snack: Herbalife (cold fusion) shake, with PDM, tea and 1 shot of aloe.. Oh I love Cold fusion! I forgot how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE Cold Fusion!
and 12 more ounces of water.
Worked my arms for about 10 minutes or so
Dinner time:
1c raw spinach, 1/4c shredded mozzarella, 1/8c sliced almonds, 1/4c craisins, and 1 1/2 tsp of balsamic vinaigrette. Joined with what I had for lunch minus the spinach on the wrap because I forgot to put it on there. (It was left overs night for dinner)
I honestly don't know if I'm putting down enough calories a day, I don't feel starved by any means, however I read that with working out, I should eat 1880 calories to lose weight at a healthy pace, however, I don't think I'm putting in that much. I'm not sure if I should go by what the books say, or by how my body feels. I won't let myself go hungry, I want this weight loss to be healthy, especially since it's not just about losing weight, it's about being healthy. I should probably throw a chicken breast in with my salads to add a few calories and more protein to my day. Any suggestions would be great!
Thanks!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
It has only been 4 whole days and I already feel the difference!
Yesterday and today have been awesome! I feel more energetic, I feel happier, and I can totally tell that the Holy Spirit has been really helping me through this! It has been amazing! It feel so good to be eating healthier. I don't feel sluggish nor do I have the constant guilt that crappy food leaves behind after it's ingested! :) I'm not really cutting anything completely out of my diet. I fully believe that everything is ok in moderation and judging my the way my underwear has been fitting lately, I can tell it's working for me! :) (Too much info?)
Yesterday's menu
While getting Nathan's lunch together, I ate 3 grapes, 3 craisins, and 10 gold fish crackers.
Later on for breakfast I had 35 grams (1pkg) of Better Oats Oat Revolution oatmeal mixed with 1 package (28g) of plain Quaker oatmeal. The Better Oats is way too sweet alone.
12 oz water.
10oz of coffee with 2 Tbsp of cream at Mom's group.
Snack: 3 oz light yogurt and 12 grapes with 2 oz of water
Lunch: 2 cups raw baby spinach, topped with 1/4 cup craisins, 1/4 cup sliced almonds, 1/4 cup shredded mozzarella cheese.. finished off with 11/2 Tbsp of Balsamic Vinaigrette. I had 3/4 cup cottage cheese and 2 baby dill pickles on the side. A small apple and had another 24 oz of water. Then I had about 1/3 of a candy cane.
Snack: 24 oz of water, and Nutri Grain bar and 1/4 cup goldfish crackers.
Dinner: 1 cup or maybe a 1 1/2 cups of fresh cut green beans.. no salt or butter added.. 1 1/2 cups spinach with 1/8 c slivered almonds and 1 Tbsp of vinaigrette. And about 1/2 a serving of Stouffers lasagna and 12 more ounces of water.
For exercise I went on a 2 mile walk with Dan and Jovie. Did 30 crunches on the medicine ball (abs were way too sore from Sunday to do any more) and 70 squats as wells as shadowboxing.
Today I also went on a 2.5 mile walk and hope to do some Zumba once Dan hits the sack for the night.
As far as what I ate today...
Breakfast.. same as yesterday minus the snacks beforehand.
10 oz of coffee with 2 tbsp of cream and 24 oz of water.
Snack: Med apple and 12 oz of water.
Lunch 3.5 Cups of baby spinach, 1/4c Craisins, 1/4c sliced almonds, 1/4c shredded mozzarella cheese 3.5 total Tbsp of balsamic vinaigrette.. (I had two salads today and two different times) and 1 half of a small grilled chicken breast. I should have had Dan grill 2 chicken breast so we could both have a small one, but instead I had 1/3 a serving of last nights left overs of stouffers lasagna along with my salads.
Also 6 oz of delicious coffee topped with 1 Tbsp cream. 24 ounces of water and 10 gold fish crackers. This meal is a combined meal.. I had one salad and the gold fish before my walk, and the second salad with the chicken after my walk.
12 more ounces of water with lunch and another after my walk.
Dinner: Tatter tot hot dish made with ground turkey instead of ground beef, mixed veggies, cream of mushroom soup, tatter tots and cheese.. about 1 serving of that with 24 ounces of water.
And that's that folks. I feel a little icky after dinner. It tasted amazing!! However it was high in sodium. I feel great and happy with my progress so far. One day at a time!!
Yesterday's menu
While getting Nathan's lunch together, I ate 3 grapes, 3 craisins, and 10 gold fish crackers.
Later on for breakfast I had 35 grams (1pkg) of Better Oats Oat Revolution oatmeal mixed with 1 package (28g) of plain Quaker oatmeal. The Better Oats is way too sweet alone.
12 oz water.
10oz of coffee with 2 Tbsp of cream at Mom's group.
Snack: 3 oz light yogurt and 12 grapes with 2 oz of water
Lunch: 2 cups raw baby spinach, topped with 1/4 cup craisins, 1/4 cup sliced almonds, 1/4 cup shredded mozzarella cheese.. finished off with 11/2 Tbsp of Balsamic Vinaigrette. I had 3/4 cup cottage cheese and 2 baby dill pickles on the side. A small apple and had another 24 oz of water. Then I had about 1/3 of a candy cane.
Snack: 24 oz of water, and Nutri Grain bar and 1/4 cup goldfish crackers.
Dinner: 1 cup or maybe a 1 1/2 cups of fresh cut green beans.. no salt or butter added.. 1 1/2 cups spinach with 1/8 c slivered almonds and 1 Tbsp of vinaigrette. And about 1/2 a serving of Stouffers lasagna and 12 more ounces of water.
For exercise I went on a 2 mile walk with Dan and Jovie. Did 30 crunches on the medicine ball (abs were way too sore from Sunday to do any more) and 70 squats as wells as shadowboxing.
Today I also went on a 2.5 mile walk and hope to do some Zumba once Dan hits the sack for the night.
As far as what I ate today...
Breakfast.. same as yesterday minus the snacks beforehand.
10 oz of coffee with 2 tbsp of cream and 24 oz of water.
Snack: Med apple and 12 oz of water.
Lunch 3.5 Cups of baby spinach, 1/4c Craisins, 1/4c sliced almonds, 1/4c shredded mozzarella cheese 3.5 total Tbsp of balsamic vinaigrette.. (I had two salads today and two different times) and 1 half of a small grilled chicken breast. I should have had Dan grill 2 chicken breast so we could both have a small one, but instead I had 1/3 a serving of last nights left overs of stouffers lasagna along with my salads.
Also 6 oz of delicious coffee topped with 1 Tbsp cream. 24 ounces of water and 10 gold fish crackers. This meal is a combined meal.. I had one salad and the gold fish before my walk, and the second salad with the chicken after my walk.
12 more ounces of water with lunch and another after my walk.
Dinner: Tatter tot hot dish made with ground turkey instead of ground beef, mixed veggies, cream of mushroom soup, tatter tots and cheese.. about 1 serving of that with 24 ounces of water.
And that's that folks. I feel a little icky after dinner. It tasted amazing!! However it was high in sodium. I feel great and happy with my progress so far. One day at a time!!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Food journal for Sunday.. and a little side note. :)
I guess I'll start off with the side note. This is a little reminder to me as to why I'm trying to make this change. After having Jovie my abdominal wall became pretty weak, so now I'm bothered with back and pelvic pain, which also leads to leg pain. Not only that, I have TMJ syndrome so basically something on my body is always inflamed and in pain. By eating right and working out my belly will shrink and my abs will become stronger, therefore creating less body pain. :) So yay for that! Also, for years and years I've hated my body. The first time I was called fat was when I was 5 1/2, and it stuck with me. I've always carried my body fat in my midsection and was picked on about it all through school and even for a few years after. Boys would call me "beer belly" behind my back.. Yell down the hall at me "Jenny Maida is chubby" and so on and so forth. Well, I've always made excuses to not working out. Whether it was my asthma and tachycardia, or just being flat out tired, there was always a reason why I didn't work out. I've heard someone say on TV one night "You can either make excuses or make a change," and I'm choosing making a change. Do avoid being overwhelmed and setting myself up for failure, I'm starting off gradual and going from there. I usually end up failing which leads to quitting, starting off slow will prevent that.
With all of that being said, here's my food journal for today.
Breakfast: 1c peanut butter multigrain cheerio's with roughly 2/3 c 1% milk
8oz coffee with 2 Tbsp creamer
6 oz Kemps lite yogurt.
7oz water
I skipped snack since I was at church and had a late lunch..
Little munching while waiting for lunch though... 1 kiwi, and 2 mandarin orange slices
3 "Smiles" fruit snacks
Lunch: 3 slices of Papa Murphy's Delight pizza. Toppings: Cheese, chicken, bacon crumbs, and spinach. With garlic sauce. .. I know, I know, not healthy.. and I felt a little yucky afterwards.
28 oz of water.
Evening: Heartburn (gee, I wonder from what!?) and a headache have kept me from eating a whole lot tonight. I snacked on 3 teddy grahams and 1/4 of a graham cracker.
I've also had 34 more oz of water
For a work out today. I did 30 squats, 100 sit up's on the medicine ball, and about 10 minutes of balancing to strengthen my core and lower back.
So that's that for today!
PS. I apologize for my lazy grammar. :)
With all of that being said, here's my food journal for today.
Breakfast: 1c peanut butter multigrain cheerio's with roughly 2/3 c 1% milk
8oz coffee with 2 Tbsp creamer
6 oz Kemps lite yogurt.
7oz water
I skipped snack since I was at church and had a late lunch..
Little munching while waiting for lunch though... 1 kiwi, and 2 mandarin orange slices
3 "Smiles" fruit snacks
Lunch: 3 slices of Papa Murphy's Delight pizza. Toppings: Cheese, chicken, bacon crumbs, and spinach. With garlic sauce. .. I know, I know, not healthy.. and I felt a little yucky afterwards.
28 oz of water.
Evening: Heartburn (gee, I wonder from what!?) and a headache have kept me from eating a whole lot tonight. I snacked on 3 teddy grahams and 1/4 of a graham cracker.
I've also had 34 more oz of water
For a work out today. I did 30 squats, 100 sit up's on the medicine ball, and about 10 minutes of balancing to strengthen my core and lower back.
So that's that for today!
PS. I apologize for my lazy grammar. :)
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Food Journal for Fri-Sat
Ok, Friday was a way more successful day than today. Like I said, I'm going to be completely honest so here's my complete food journal for Friday and Saturday.
Friday
Breakfast: 6oz Chobani 2% Greek Yogurt
12 oz Water
Total calories 160
Snack: 1/4 cup Nut Harvest nut and fruit mix 150 calories
24 oz water and 8oz cup of coffee with 1Tbsp Coffee mate french vanilla creamer
Other niblets: 11 Gold Fish crackers 2 slices of mandarin oranges and 1 graham cracker.
Another 12 oz of water
Lunch: French dip sandwich with swiss cheese from JB Schneider
3 french fries that I stole off of Dan's plate :)
12 oz of water
More nibbling: 6 mandarin orange pieces
5 squares of frosted cinnamon toast crunch and 8oz cup of coffee with 1Tbsp Coffee mate french vanilla creamer
1 truffle
24 more oz of water
Dinner-ish: 6 noodles from pasta salad.. it was gross.
1/2 of a Gerber toddler meal.. chicken, mash potato's and gravy, and carrots. Total, 5 bites. I wasn't going to let it go to waste.. haha
12 oz of water
and 1 cup of cinnamon toast crunch with 3/4 cup 1% milk.
Oh yes, and I had 5 little crunchies.. toddler food is so easy accessible when you have a snacking toddler!
So that was my Friday. Not incredibly healthy, but not too too horrible. I have worse days let me tell ya! Now onto today.
Saturday
Breakfast: 1c Peanut Butter Multigrain Cheerio's with 3/4c 1% milk
8oz coffee 1Tbsp Coffee mate french vanilla creamer + 1/2 tsp sugar
12 oz water
Snack: small hand full of caramel cheerios approx 12 pieces
12oz water
SET BACK ALERT!!
A LOT of blueberry muffin mix. :( Like enough to fill a muffin cup. Yikes!
Lunch: 3/4 of a homemade chicken pot pie. Not a massive one.. just a single one.
12 oz of water.
I also tested the chili I made on a cracker with a tiny bit of sour cream and a pinch of cheese. It was delicious! Made with ground turkey. :)
12 more oz of water.
Another cup of coffee.. made same as above without the sugar though.
Skipped a real dinner and just snacked with my hubby. NOT a good idea.
3/4 cup Fruit and nut mix. 5 Teddy grahams. and 1/2 of a homemade chocolate chip cookie.
So today was not the greatest day. Definitely snacked way too much. The blueberry muffin mix was a disaster, and obviously not enough water! Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day with stronger will power.
I also haven't worked out the past two days. Not because I didn't want to, it's just difficult when everyone is home and the only place set up for a work out is our living room. We need to set something up in our basement.
So there you have it folks! It's a step in the right direction and I'm going to keep moving that way.
Goodnight!
Friday
Breakfast: 6oz Chobani 2% Greek Yogurt
12 oz Water
Total calories 160
Snack: 1/4 cup Nut Harvest nut and fruit mix 150 calories
24 oz water and 8oz cup of coffee with 1Tbsp Coffee mate french vanilla creamer
Other niblets: 11 Gold Fish crackers 2 slices of mandarin oranges and 1 graham cracker.
Another 12 oz of water
Lunch: French dip sandwich with swiss cheese from JB Schneider
3 french fries that I stole off of Dan's plate :)
12 oz of water
More nibbling: 6 mandarin orange pieces
5 squares of frosted cinnamon toast crunch and 8oz cup of coffee with 1Tbsp Coffee mate french vanilla creamer
1 truffle
24 more oz of water
Dinner-ish: 6 noodles from pasta salad.. it was gross.
1/2 of a Gerber toddler meal.. chicken, mash potato's and gravy, and carrots. Total, 5 bites. I wasn't going to let it go to waste.. haha
12 oz of water
and 1 cup of cinnamon toast crunch with 3/4 cup 1% milk.
Oh yes, and I had 5 little crunchies.. toddler food is so easy accessible when you have a snacking toddler!
So that was my Friday. Not incredibly healthy, but not too too horrible. I have worse days let me tell ya! Now onto today.
Saturday
Breakfast: 1c Peanut Butter Multigrain Cheerio's with 3/4c 1% milk
8oz coffee 1Tbsp Coffee mate french vanilla creamer + 1/2 tsp sugar
12 oz water
Snack: small hand full of caramel cheerios approx 12 pieces
12oz water
SET BACK ALERT!!
A LOT of blueberry muffin mix. :( Like enough to fill a muffin cup. Yikes!
Lunch: 3/4 of a homemade chicken pot pie. Not a massive one.. just a single one.
12 oz of water.
I also tested the chili I made on a cracker with a tiny bit of sour cream and a pinch of cheese. It was delicious! Made with ground turkey. :)
12 more oz of water.
Another cup of coffee.. made same as above without the sugar though.
Skipped a real dinner and just snacked with my hubby. NOT a good idea.
3/4 cup Fruit and nut mix. 5 Teddy grahams. and 1/2 of a homemade chocolate chip cookie.
So today was not the greatest day. Definitely snacked way too much. The blueberry muffin mix was a disaster, and obviously not enough water! Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day with stronger will power.
I also haven't worked out the past two days. Not because I didn't want to, it's just difficult when everyone is home and the only place set up for a work out is our living room. We need to set something up in our basement.
So there you have it folks! It's a step in the right direction and I'm going to keep moving that way.
Goodnight!
It is time to start being healthy.
So, yes, it's that time of year where just about everyone is dieting for their resolutions. I am indeed one of them. I'm taking a different approach to it this time around though. I'm making it public. I will track everything I eat, write it down and publish it on my blog. I will track down how often I exercise, good days, bad days.. EVERYTHING. I will be completely honest and hopefully through all of this, I'll become a healthier person.
I have already started writing down the foods and beverages I ingest.. I started yesterday. Yesterday was BY FAR a lot better than today let me tell ya! I think my choice of exercise will be Zumba Fit for our Wii, at least until we get a Y membership. (hopefully)
My current weight is 140 lbs. I'm hoping to get to about 125 or until I feel a lot healthier than I do now. It's not so much the weight that bothers me as much as it is the body fat.
Any words of encouragement would be welcomed :) I'll post my list of the foods I ate today and Friday most likely tomorrow.
Until then,
Ciao!
I have already started writing down the foods and beverages I ingest.. I started yesterday. Yesterday was BY FAR a lot better than today let me tell ya! I think my choice of exercise will be Zumba Fit for our Wii, at least until we get a Y membership. (hopefully)
My current weight is 140 lbs. I'm hoping to get to about 125 or until I feel a lot healthier than I do now. It's not so much the weight that bothers me as much as it is the body fat.
Any words of encouragement would be welcomed :) I'll post my list of the foods I ate today and Friday most likely tomorrow.
Until then,
Ciao!
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