It has been awhile since I splattered my thoughts and feelings on here. I've been reading The Out of Sync Child and learning so much about SPD! I've been beginning to notice more of Nathan's "triggers" and recognizing when he needs some help. I've also noticed that some of the things that have bothered me my whole life are due to sensory issues. It all makes so much sense now, but I'm not going to get into that! At least not right now.
Because I've been a little more stressed than usual lately, I've been finding myself getting overwhelmed rather easily. Today for instance, we went to lunch at Duluth Grill with some friends. I was really tired, not really feeling that great and it was packed in there. There was way too much going on at once and it was hard to focus on what was going on. Well, I could tell immediately this was overwhelming Nathan as well. He was pulling his shirt over his knees and constantly touching me. He was in my space the whole time we were there. Snuggling with me, tapping my arm, talking excessively, wanting me to read to him.. etc. I had him hug his knees to his chest, and rock front to back and side to side for a bit, but that didn't seem to help. I tried to help him breath slower because he was practically panting, but that didn't help either. He just needed to be snuggled. Since I was out of sorts I could barely handle him touching me. It took EVERYTHING in me not to snap! I finally had to tell him that I needed some space, but that only lasted a few seconds before he was touching my arm again. I wanted to snap a fork in half because I was so agitated! Luckily I didn't snap at him and we survived lunch! If I was feeling that crazy due to being overwhelmed, I couldn't imagine how he must have been feeling!
When we got home, I did some sensory therapy with him which seemed to help him calm down. By this point I was so tired and overwhelmed that I felt like I was going to puke all over the place. I took a 2 1/2 hour nap and woke up feeling like poo. However, after some time in prayer and forcing myself to keep things simple and slow for the rest of the day, I felt better. We went outside with the kids, and as part of Nathan's therapy I've been having him cross the monkey bars. Before today, he'd never do it without me holding onto him. He has a weaker upper body so it's really difficult for him to cross them. However, after a few tries of me barely holding onto him, he hopped up there and crossed them all by himself 2 times in a row! And then that's all he wanted to do! He probably crossed them 10 more times throughout the evening. I was so happy for him! He had this sense of achievement about him. He said, the kids in school are going to be so surprised when they see him crossing the monkey bars at recess! I never thought that anything as simple as crossing the monkey bars would bring hope to my heart. It showed me that he's getting stronger, and it gave him some real confidence. Such a huge change from yesterday! He also asked me to do the "squeezes" to his arms tonight and give him a hug. He must have knew he needed it in order to sit down at the dinner table and finish his meal. In the past, he would have gotten up a ton of times just to move around.
Speaking of yesterday, when I went to pick up Nathan at school for his OT appointment, I could tell immediately just by looking at him that he was having a rough day. The neck of his shirt was saturated from him chewing on it and he had it all balled up in the middle from squeezing it. When he was close enough for me to see his face he looked flat out miserable. Normally, he's excited when I pick him up, but this time he was just quiet. I pulled him for the rest of the day, which I probably shouldn't have, but my heart was broken and I wasn't thinking clearly. I had a feeling when he woke up that morning from a bad dream that he was going to have a rough day. After he ate his lunch and went to OT he was a lot better. He seemed like a totally different kid! He could have went back to school, and even wanted to. But I wanted him to try to get some sleep. Which, he didn't.
While at his appointment, Kate told me about some tools we could get Nate. Unfortunately, they're not exactly cheap, and insurance doesn't cover them. Getting him some chewy's for him to chew on in school and other times he needs to focus would help immensely. It's $80 for 12 of them! Or $6 for just one. And I could probably guarantee that he'll lose it the first day he brings it to school. A weighted vest is anywhere from $40-$300, and luckily we don't have to buy a weighted blanket because a friend of ours is blessing us by making him one. We just need to get the material which is soooo much cheaper! It's hard not to get discouraged when I see all the expenses. It's also frustrating that I can't just go somewhere close and buy them. They need to be purchased online or from a catalog.
Our OT is great with Nathan and gives us great activities to do with him to help, but when it comes to asking her what can be done to help him in school, or about things to purchase, the answers just seem vague. I'm so new to this, that I need things explained more. But time is so crunched when we go there, it's hard to ask the questions I need to ask when she needs to focus on Nathan.
I did get him some Omega 3 + Vitamin D vitamins. It will help with his brain function. I'm also trying my best to cut out artificial dyes, and sweeteners from his diet. I cannot believe how many foods have artificial dye in them! It's definitely making grocery shopping take forever! But I'll soon learn what not to buy.
Man, what a long post. I'm off to bed!
Goodnight everyone!
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