Oh my aching heart...

  Yesterday and this morning had some rough moments with Nathan.  He had multiple breakdowns about school, and how hard it has been lately.  He was excited to tell me that he got to move up on the rainbow chart and didn't get any red or yellow lights, but he quickly followed with "I tired so so hard to be a good boy Mom, and it was really hard."  He looked exhausted, he was crying... my heart was breaking.  This morning he was up very early.   Nathan was awake when Dan got up for work at 3:45.  Dan sent him back to bed, but I heard him up around 5:40... I'm not sure if he fell back to sleep or not.  Had I known before I sent him off to school that he was awake when Dan was up, I would have sent him to bed instead.  I have a feeling he's going to have a rough day at school today.  I prayed for him twice, which seemed to help with the emotions, but he was still worried about the kids calling him a "bad boy" today.  He said that one of the boys refused to sit by him yesterday and said because Nathan was "bad."  I made sure to tell him over and over that he's not a bad boy, and I prayed for him again.  I also did some sensory therapy before he left.. Hopefully that will help.  I'm wondering if a weighted blanket at night would help him to sleep better.  The only issue is, his room gets so hot, especially in the summer, that I don't know if he'll be able to handle it.  
  And speaking of sleep, my sleep has been terrible lately.  I can't get comfortable at night because of this stupid TMJ crap.  To say I hate TMJ syndrome is an understatement!  My neck, jaw, and now shoulder are so sore by the time I get to bed that it's next to impossible to sleep comfortably.  I can't sleep on the side of my face without pain.  Sleeping on my back is rather uncomfortable as well.  I found myself praying that somehow God would provide us with a Sealy Posturepedic bed.  The ones where you can adjust the head to come up and the legs...  What some people would call an "old persons"  bed.  I laid on one of those during Christmas time and I nearly cried because I was so comfortable.  I probably would have charged one on my credit card if it wasn't for Dan being there.  I'm starting to feel desperate for a bed like that.. especially when I'm tossing and turning half of the night.  If I had money to blow, that bed would be in my bedroom.. and a 4 door car would be in my garage. :)  
  Anyway, please be praying for my sleep.. Having better sleep helps me to help Nathan more.  When I'm exhausted, I have a short fuse, and my emotions get the best of me.  Thankfully, that didn't happen until he left today.  As soon as he walked to the bus stop I started sobbing.  His broken little heart, how I wish I could heal it for him.  How I wish I could protect him from the lies.  Prayer seems to help, so I just keep doing that.  I feel horrible sending him to school sometimes, but keeping him home isn't going to help him face his fears and problems in the future.  Oh how I wish our damn appointment could have been weeks ago!  With it getting so close to the end of the year, he probably won't have an IEP plan in place until the start of next year.  UGH!!! Please keep Nathan in your prayer.  Ask God to protect Nathan's tender heart.  He's so sensitive.  Also ask God to speak into the kids that are around Nathan, and to give his teacher wisdom as to how to help Nathan until his IEP plan is in order.  Please pray that by some miracle my TMJ syndrome would be healed, and/or that we could get that bed I mentioned.  I prefer healing, but I'll take the bed too. :)  Also, Jovie has been going to bed late and waking up rather early.  Please be praying for her as well... I guess praying for ALL of our rest would work.  Pardon my discombobulation.. I'm utterly exhausted beyond belief.  
  Thank you all.