Todays appointment went great! I felt so relieved when our OT noticed Nathan's sensory seeking behaviors immediately. She said "oh we have a little sensory seeker here." All I could think was, YES!! Yes, I DO know my child, this is not just all in my head!! She said exactly what I thought was going on with Nathan. His body is seeking sensory, however his ears are sensitive. So he has a combination of over stimulation and under stimulation. He'll be starting OT this coming Monday and will go every Monday and Friday for the next 8 weeks. After that, she'll decide what steps to take next. We'll be doing home therapy as well. No plan for school quite yet. That will come with more evaluation from the OT. The school doesn't have OT as a stand alone service. In other words, since Nathan doesn't have any other underlining issues or DD, he doesn't qualify for OT at school. Nathan's teacher however is going to see if there's anything they can do.
It was so much fun watching Nathan "play" in the Sensory Integration (SI) room! Oh how he loved it! I think he's going to have so much fun in OT! He really seemed to enjoy Kate too. She's our OT. She's great with kids and really seemed to understand Nathan and catch onto his personality quite quickly. Dan and I both had a good feeling about her, and we look forward to working with her.
I can't wait to see how OT will work out for him. I'm so glad we'll be starting right away! The only downside is, his appointments are in the morning, and that's exactly when I do not have a car. :( My mom is willing to let us use her car and watch Jovie on the days she doesn't have anything going on. That's a plus! But I can see that that may get to be a lot for her after a couple of weeks. Man, it would be so nice to have a second car. I haven't felt the pinch of really needing a second car until today. Oh well, I know that everything will work itself out. God has been so faithful up to this point and I know He'll see us through this.
My sadness for Nathan has turned to hope. My nervousness has turned to joy. He was like a kid in a candy shop when he was in the SI room! Giant things to swing on, stuff to jump off of, giant bean bags to throw himself into, games to play... It was amazing! I wanted to jump right in and play with them!
Now, I can breath. Now Nathan will have the help he needs. And we'll be taught how to help him here at home. Oh, the relief!
Friday, May 4, 2012
Thursday, May 3, 2012
A BIG thank you!
I want to thank everyone who has given me words of encouragement, pointers on how to help Nathan, and love. I feel like God has brought every each one of you to me to show me that we're not alone, to show me that there is support, and to show me it's ok to just let it all out, so to speak.
I can feel God is with us during all of this. He has shown me so much love and given me so much strength. He has blessed me with a boy that is so receptive to prayer and that is a huge help!
It's so hard to see a loving boy like Nathan struggle with believing he's a "bad" boy. It's heartbreaking to see him so broken down after a hard day. It is amazing though how fast prayer can change things around for him! Sometimes he'll come up to me feeling anxious about going to school, or crying because he had a bad day. After 30 seconds of prayer he's like a new boy! God has been so incredibly faithful through all of this! I love that ever since Nathan was 3 1/2 he has known that prayer makes him feel better. When he was at his early childhood screening, he was exhausted. They wanted him to do one more activity and he wasn't having it. He was just shy of 3 1/2, it was his first day of pre-school, he had no nap, and he just wanted to go home to have a snack. I asked him, "what can I do to help you get through this last activity?" He answered immediately while crawling into my lap, "prayer!" So, I prayed for him and not even a minute later he hopped off of my lap, and finished the project just like that! Scoring well above average too! It was like God flipped a switch in him. I wonder sometimes if the woman that was helping us noticed.. I wonder if it planted a seed at all. There was another time when Nathan was incredibly sick and in a lot of pain at the Dr's office. I asked him the same question as he was screaming in pain.. What can mommy do Nathan? He cried out with big crocodile tears streaming down his face "praaayyyeer." It just amazes me. It amazes me that this little boy knows, he KNOWS that prayer works! Thank you Jesus for that! Thank you Jesus that every time I pray for my crying, scared, little boy, that you show up and take those tears away! I am so grateful to know my loving Father in Heaven. I am so grateful to know that He's on our side. I can't take away Nathan's tears, I can't heal his hurting heart, and I can't stop the lies from seeping into his brain like some sort of poisonous sludge. But God can. I don't know what I would do without Him. I thank God that I have him to protect Nathan. God's love has been so prevalent through all of this! Once again, He has swept in to take care of my aching heart. And I get to watch first hand as He takes care of Nathan's.
Thank you Father that you are a God worthy of all our praise. That you are a God that doesn't force us to kneel before your throne, rather your love makes us want to. Thank you that you're a God that loves your people, that wants to take care of your children, that wants to bless us. Thank you for being the good God that you are.. Not the condemning one that so many people think they know. Who is like you O Lord, worthy of all praise? Thank you and I love you.
I can feel God is with us during all of this. He has shown me so much love and given me so much strength. He has blessed me with a boy that is so receptive to prayer and that is a huge help!
It's so hard to see a loving boy like Nathan struggle with believing he's a "bad" boy. It's heartbreaking to see him so broken down after a hard day. It is amazing though how fast prayer can change things around for him! Sometimes he'll come up to me feeling anxious about going to school, or crying because he had a bad day. After 30 seconds of prayer he's like a new boy! God has been so incredibly faithful through all of this! I love that ever since Nathan was 3 1/2 he has known that prayer makes him feel better. When he was at his early childhood screening, he was exhausted. They wanted him to do one more activity and he wasn't having it. He was just shy of 3 1/2, it was his first day of pre-school, he had no nap, and he just wanted to go home to have a snack. I asked him, "what can I do to help you get through this last activity?" He answered immediately while crawling into my lap, "prayer!" So, I prayed for him and not even a minute later he hopped off of my lap, and finished the project just like that! Scoring well above average too! It was like God flipped a switch in him. I wonder sometimes if the woman that was helping us noticed.. I wonder if it planted a seed at all. There was another time when Nathan was incredibly sick and in a lot of pain at the Dr's office. I asked him the same question as he was screaming in pain.. What can mommy do Nathan? He cried out with big crocodile tears streaming down his face "praaayyyeer." It just amazes me. It amazes me that this little boy knows, he KNOWS that prayer works! Thank you Jesus for that! Thank you Jesus that every time I pray for my crying, scared, little boy, that you show up and take those tears away! I am so grateful to know my loving Father in Heaven. I am so grateful to know that He's on our side. I can't take away Nathan's tears, I can't heal his hurting heart, and I can't stop the lies from seeping into his brain like some sort of poisonous sludge. But God can. I don't know what I would do without Him. I thank God that I have him to protect Nathan. God's love has been so prevalent through all of this! Once again, He has swept in to take care of my aching heart. And I get to watch first hand as He takes care of Nathan's.
Thank you Father that you are a God worthy of all our praise. That you are a God that doesn't force us to kneel before your throne, rather your love makes us want to. Thank you that you're a God that loves your people, that wants to take care of your children, that wants to bless us. Thank you for being the good God that you are.. Not the condemning one that so many people think they know. Who is like you O Lord, worthy of all praise? Thank you and I love you.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Oh my aching heart...
Yesterday and this morning had some rough moments with Nathan. He had multiple breakdowns about school, and how hard it has been lately. He was excited to tell me that he got to move up on the rainbow chart and didn't get any red or yellow lights, but he quickly followed with "I tired so so hard to be a good boy Mom, and it was really hard." He looked exhausted, he was crying... my heart was breaking. This morning he was up very early. Nathan was awake when Dan got up for work at 3:45. Dan sent him back to bed, but I heard him up around 5:40... I'm not sure if he fell back to sleep or not. Had I known before I sent him off to school that he was awake when Dan was up, I would have sent him to bed instead. I have a feeling he's going to have a rough day at school today. I prayed for him twice, which seemed to help with the emotions, but he was still worried about the kids calling him a "bad boy" today. He said that one of the boys refused to sit by him yesterday and said because Nathan was "bad." I made sure to tell him over and over that he's not a bad boy, and I prayed for him again. I also did some sensory therapy before he left.. Hopefully that will help. I'm wondering if a weighted blanket at night would help him to sleep better. The only issue is, his room gets so hot, especially in the summer, that I don't know if he'll be able to handle it.
And speaking of sleep, my sleep has been terrible lately. I can't get comfortable at night because of this stupid TMJ crap. To say I hate TMJ syndrome is an understatement! My neck, jaw, and now shoulder are so sore by the time I get to bed that it's next to impossible to sleep comfortably. I can't sleep on the side of my face without pain. Sleeping on my back is rather uncomfortable as well. I found myself praying that somehow God would provide us with a Sealy Posturepedic bed. The ones where you can adjust the head to come up and the legs... What some people would call an "old persons" bed. I laid on one of those during Christmas time and I nearly cried because I was so comfortable. I probably would have charged one on my credit card if it wasn't for Dan being there. I'm starting to feel desperate for a bed like that.. especially when I'm tossing and turning half of the night. If I had money to blow, that bed would be in my bedroom.. and a 4 door car would be in my garage. :)
Anyway, please be praying for my sleep.. Having better sleep helps me to help Nathan more. When I'm exhausted, I have a short fuse, and my emotions get the best of me. Thankfully, that didn't happen until he left today. As soon as he walked to the bus stop I started sobbing. His broken little heart, how I wish I could heal it for him. How I wish I could protect him from the lies. Prayer seems to help, so I just keep doing that. I feel horrible sending him to school sometimes, but keeping him home isn't going to help him face his fears and problems in the future. Oh how I wish our damn appointment could have been weeks ago! With it getting so close to the end of the year, he probably won't have an IEP plan in place until the start of next year. UGH!!! Please keep Nathan in your prayer. Ask God to protect Nathan's tender heart. He's so sensitive. Also ask God to speak into the kids that are around Nathan, and to give his teacher wisdom as to how to help Nathan until his IEP plan is in order. Please pray that by some miracle my TMJ syndrome would be healed, and/or that we could get that bed I mentioned. I prefer healing, but I'll take the bed too. :) Also, Jovie has been going to bed late and waking up rather early. Please be praying for her as well... I guess praying for ALL of our rest would work. Pardon my discombobulation.. I'm utterly exhausted beyond belief.
Thank you all.
And speaking of sleep, my sleep has been terrible lately. I can't get comfortable at night because of this stupid TMJ crap. To say I hate TMJ syndrome is an understatement! My neck, jaw, and now shoulder are so sore by the time I get to bed that it's next to impossible to sleep comfortably. I can't sleep on the side of my face without pain. Sleeping on my back is rather uncomfortable as well. I found myself praying that somehow God would provide us with a Sealy Posturepedic bed. The ones where you can adjust the head to come up and the legs... What some people would call an "old persons" bed. I laid on one of those during Christmas time and I nearly cried because I was so comfortable. I probably would have charged one on my credit card if it wasn't for Dan being there. I'm starting to feel desperate for a bed like that.. especially when I'm tossing and turning half of the night. If I had money to blow, that bed would be in my bedroom.. and a 4 door car would be in my garage. :)
Anyway, please be praying for my sleep.. Having better sleep helps me to help Nathan more. When I'm exhausted, I have a short fuse, and my emotions get the best of me. Thankfully, that didn't happen until he left today. As soon as he walked to the bus stop I started sobbing. His broken little heart, how I wish I could heal it for him. How I wish I could protect him from the lies. Prayer seems to help, so I just keep doing that. I feel horrible sending him to school sometimes, but keeping him home isn't going to help him face his fears and problems in the future. Oh how I wish our damn appointment could have been weeks ago! With it getting so close to the end of the year, he probably won't have an IEP plan in place until the start of next year. UGH!!! Please keep Nathan in your prayer. Ask God to protect Nathan's tender heart. He's so sensitive. Also ask God to speak into the kids that are around Nathan, and to give his teacher wisdom as to how to help Nathan until his IEP plan is in order. Please pray that by some miracle my TMJ syndrome would be healed, and/or that we could get that bed I mentioned. I prefer healing, but I'll take the bed too. :) Also, Jovie has been going to bed late and waking up rather early. Please be praying for her as well... I guess praying for ALL of our rest would work. Pardon my discombobulation.. I'm utterly exhausted beyond belief.
Thank you all.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
One step at a time.
Nathan came down into our room this morning, and like every morning for the past week he asked if he could stay home from school. I responded, by reminding him that he was going to a fun play today.. Then that's when the fear came in. He starting crying, telling me he was scared because the last play was too loud and he had a hard time sitting still. He was afraid that he was going to get in trouble for not being able to sit still. Fear of getting in trouble seems to be an issue that Nathan recently started having. He's pretty sensitive, and can sometimes take it really hard if he's firmly talked to. My heart sank a little for him. As I fought through my grogginess, I started to think rationally. I usually don't pull Nathan from situations, I usually want him to try to figure out how to cope and deal with things. But in actuality, we do not have any sensory equipment yet. He does not have a straight diagnosis yet. Chances are the play would be too much for him. Chances are he wouldn't be able to sit still. Chances are he would be disruptive to the other students. And chances are he would get in trouble. I decided to let him stay home. Usually, I would make him go. But today, I felt my better judgement would be to let him stay home. Until we have a weighted vest or other sensory tools, I don't think Nathan would be able to handle that type of setting all to well. And in all honesty it's probably a help for the teacher and chaperons to not have him go. Even after I told him he could stay home, he kept going on about how he doesn't like how plays are too loud. I just snuggled with him and told him it's ok, because he's not going. It took him a good 15 minutes to relax. I've never seen that in him before. That worry, that anxiety. It broke my heart.
The other night before bed, his prayer request was that he'll sleep well, have good dreams, have a fun day at school, and that he wouldn't be one of the "naughty kids" anymore. He said, "I don't like being naughty mom. I try to be good." I know him, and I know he's trying.. He's trying so hard and he keeps failing. That's how he sees it. He hates failure just like the rest of us. I try to explain that we're getting him some help so his brain will listen to him, it seems to give him some relief when I bring it up. That's how he described it. he tries to tell his brain what to do, but it doesn't listen to him. I used to think it was a cute excuse, but now I think he's telling the truth. Now I'm starting to see him struggle emotionally, and it's painful to watch. I'm trying to stay strong for him. Hide my tears, tell him he's getting help, that he's a wonderful boy with a big, big heart. That he's not naughty, and that I know he's trying. Give him hugs and kisses, and more hugs, and more hugs. And of course, lots of snuggles. One of his love languages is affectionate touch, so it's a blessing that his therapy will require a lot of that. Last night I gave him a big hug before I left and he said "awww Mom, thank you for the hug." He LOVES hugs. I love that he loves hugs, because I love hugging him. He's always been my little cuddle bug. He broke down a little after his hug, so I asked what was wrong. He said that he was talked to firmly a few times today at school and that it's really hard for him to be talked to that way. I gave him another big hug and said a prayer out loud for him. When I was done, he said he felt a lot better. I wish I could take his pain away. I wish I could make this easier for him RIGHT NOW. The school can do nothing for him until he's officially diagnosed. Do I go to his school a couple times a day for hugs, massages, and back scratches until we get a weighted vest or something? I just don't know what I can do to help him when he's at school.
Please be praying that Jesus will protect Nathan's heart and mind. That Nathan won't fear failure, and that lies that he's a "naughty boy" will not stick to him. Please pray against anxiety and worry as well. And that God will give me wisdom as to how I can help Nathan when he's hurting.
Thank you all so much!
Jen
The other night before bed, his prayer request was that he'll sleep well, have good dreams, have a fun day at school, and that he wouldn't be one of the "naughty kids" anymore. He said, "I don't like being naughty mom. I try to be good." I know him, and I know he's trying.. He's trying so hard and he keeps failing. That's how he sees it. He hates failure just like the rest of us. I try to explain that we're getting him some help so his brain will listen to him, it seems to give him some relief when I bring it up. That's how he described it. he tries to tell his brain what to do, but it doesn't listen to him. I used to think it was a cute excuse, but now I think he's telling the truth. Now I'm starting to see him struggle emotionally, and it's painful to watch. I'm trying to stay strong for him. Hide my tears, tell him he's getting help, that he's a wonderful boy with a big, big heart. That he's not naughty, and that I know he's trying. Give him hugs and kisses, and more hugs, and more hugs. And of course, lots of snuggles. One of his love languages is affectionate touch, so it's a blessing that his therapy will require a lot of that. Last night I gave him a big hug before I left and he said "awww Mom, thank you for the hug." He LOVES hugs. I love that he loves hugs, because I love hugging him. He's always been my little cuddle bug. He broke down a little after his hug, so I asked what was wrong. He said that he was talked to firmly a few times today at school and that it's really hard for him to be talked to that way. I gave him another big hug and said a prayer out loud for him. When I was done, he said he felt a lot better. I wish I could take his pain away. I wish I could make this easier for him RIGHT NOW. The school can do nothing for him until he's officially diagnosed. Do I go to his school a couple times a day for hugs, massages, and back scratches until we get a weighted vest or something? I just don't know what I can do to help him when he's at school.
Please be praying that Jesus will protect Nathan's heart and mind. That Nathan won't fear failure, and that lies that he's a "naughty boy" will not stick to him. Please pray against anxiety and worry as well. And that God will give me wisdom as to how I can help Nathan when he's hurting.
Thank you all so much!
Jen
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
I always wondered.....
Yesterday was a rough day at school for Nathan. Once he was home he was ok though. Dan played Nerf guns with him, he watched some PBS and ate dinner. During his reading time last night he started to move a lot. Instead of my usual "Nathan please! Can you just sit still?" I just naturally started scratching his back. It was amazing! He immediately stopped wiggling around and rocking, and he sat still for the entire 15 minutes while I read to him. When we were done, he asked me to continue scratching his back. I was a little surprised because I had already been doing it so long and thought that it would have driven him crazy by then. But I guess not.
As I scratched his back, arms, and head I remembered how I could run my fingers on his back for 30 minutes and he wouldn't be bothered at all by it. I love getting my back rubbed like that too, but after a couple minutes of it, the persons fingers start to feel like nails and I can't stand it. But Nathan on the other hand, never seems to tire from it. I've always wondered why, but now it all makes sense. It makes sense that he always wants his back rubbed at night, and before naps, and even just as we're snuggling on the couch. It makes sense to me that the only time he seems to have 100% control of his body is when he's visually stimulated (watching TV). It all makes sense now. What a relief!
Now I just wait, we wait for the supplies we need for him to bring to school to help him along. We wait for the diagnosis, so he can get the help he needs. I wish we didn't have to wait. But in the mean time I'll continue to do what I can to help him along. Last night I did back scratches and rubs for 15 minutes before he went to sleep. However, he woke up an hour later bawling. When I asked what was wrong, he said "I'm worried because I'm not doing well in school." My heart broke. He's doing amazing academically, but has a hard time sitting still and listening. I told him we're getting help with that and he seemed almost relieved. Just laying next to him, having that extra touch along with the blankets seemed to calm him down. He asked for more back scratches, and he feel asleep peacefully. This morning I did some more back and arm scratches, and rubs and squeezes along his arms and shoulders. I'm hoping it will help with his morning at school. Since the teachers are not allowed to touch the students, especially without the diagnosis, I thought about visiting once Dan got home and doing some more sensory stuff with him to see if it will help with his afternoon.
God has been so faithful through all of this! I felt so loved, encouraged, and affirmed by him yesterday. While I was praying yesterday about what to do with all the thoughts on my heart and mind, I felt like he was telling me to blog about it. Once I did it was instant therapy. Just to get everything off my chest felt so good. Then there was just an wonderful outpouring of love and support and prayer for us. I felt like it was Gods way of letting me know that I'm not alone. (well besides Dan of course!) That there's a community of people out there that understand what I am going through, and they are more than happy to help out. So thank you all for reaching out, sending your thoughts, love, and prayers. Giving wonderful insight and wisdom. I really appreciate it!
So, we'll see what today brings with Nathan. I'm praying that the sensory therapy this morning helped.
God bless.
As I scratched his back, arms, and head I remembered how I could run my fingers on his back for 30 minutes and he wouldn't be bothered at all by it. I love getting my back rubbed like that too, but after a couple minutes of it, the persons fingers start to feel like nails and I can't stand it. But Nathan on the other hand, never seems to tire from it. I've always wondered why, but now it all makes sense. It makes sense that he always wants his back rubbed at night, and before naps, and even just as we're snuggling on the couch. It makes sense to me that the only time he seems to have 100% control of his body is when he's visually stimulated (watching TV). It all makes sense now. What a relief!
Now I just wait, we wait for the supplies we need for him to bring to school to help him along. We wait for the diagnosis, so he can get the help he needs. I wish we didn't have to wait. But in the mean time I'll continue to do what I can to help him along. Last night I did back scratches and rubs for 15 minutes before he went to sleep. However, he woke up an hour later bawling. When I asked what was wrong, he said "I'm worried because I'm not doing well in school." My heart broke. He's doing amazing academically, but has a hard time sitting still and listening. I told him we're getting help with that and he seemed almost relieved. Just laying next to him, having that extra touch along with the blankets seemed to calm him down. He asked for more back scratches, and he feel asleep peacefully. This morning I did some more back and arm scratches, and rubs and squeezes along his arms and shoulders. I'm hoping it will help with his morning at school. Since the teachers are not allowed to touch the students, especially without the diagnosis, I thought about visiting once Dan got home and doing some more sensory stuff with him to see if it will help with his afternoon.
God has been so faithful through all of this! I felt so loved, encouraged, and affirmed by him yesterday. While I was praying yesterday about what to do with all the thoughts on my heart and mind, I felt like he was telling me to blog about it. Once I did it was instant therapy. Just to get everything off my chest felt so good. Then there was just an wonderful outpouring of love and support and prayer for us. I felt like it was Gods way of letting me know that I'm not alone. (well besides Dan of course!) That there's a community of people out there that understand what I am going through, and they are more than happy to help out. So thank you all for reaching out, sending your thoughts, love, and prayers. Giving wonderful insight and wisdom. I really appreciate it!
So, we'll see what today brings with Nathan. I'm praying that the sensory therapy this morning helped.
God bless.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
An update on life.
The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions for me. At Nathan's last conferences his teacher and I talked about what we have been noticing in Nathan. The final thought from his teacher is that she's convinced he has a sensory disorder. God must have been with me at the time she mentioned it because I was able to accept it and test it out. Whereas last time she mentioned it I was too scared to find a diagnosis.
After doing some research, I came to the conclusion that we had to get him referred to a occupational therapist. Nathan is a text book example of a child with SPD. The type that he may have is very similar to ADHD, however his teacher, the Dr who referred him to the OT, and myself don't think he has ADHD. Nathan has a strong ability to be able to focus for extended periods of time in school and at home. He also doesn't display displaced anger and frustration like many kids with ADHD, and he has no problem learning new things. In fact, he's incredibly smart. Nathan appears to have a sensory seeking issue. Children with this tend to have difficulty listening, following directions, knowing where there body is in space, and they seek out high intensity activities, or increased durations of sensory stimulation. They tend to get into people's space because they crave touch so much due to needing stimulation. They will intentionally bump or crash into things, and they car stare at optical things, such as televisions, and other visual stimulants for hours. The children under this category don't often throw temper tantrums, they just seem to be over active and have a hard time transitioning from play time to quiet time. They are not intentionally not following directions from teachers, obviously, but it often appears that they are.
I have wondered for a long time if there was something going on with Nathan other than "high energy." He had a difficult time sleeping as an infant, and when he became a toddler, he always desired to be snuggled, have his backed rubbed, or just need to be sleeping next to me in order to sleep. He still needs his back rubbed every night before bed. And he still tries to sleep with me at night. Not to mention that he's very energetic, sensitive to sound, sometimes light, he tries really hard to focus in large groups but finds that it's next to impossible. He explains it by saying, "I try to make my body sit still, but my brain won't let it. My brain feels dizzy and I don't like it."
As a mother it's incredibly hard. My heart breaks for Nathan. Yet, I am so relieved to know there's help for Nathan. I feel so many emotions with this. Sadness, relief, fear, relief, anger, relief. It's hard when I hear people label him and say he "misbehaves." When I know now that he can't control it. It's wonderful that now we can help him process this, and that we can set him up to succeed rather than fail. That we can know what expectations to have of him, and that we'll have an OT helping us along the way. I also found a wonderful website that has been so incredibly helpful and a few great friends that have prayed for me along this new journey that God has placed us in. Support is so important during this time and I don't know what I'd do without it. I love my little boy so much. He has an amazing, loving heart. He wants nothing but to do good things, yet he gets labeled a "bad boy." For that my heart breaks. He has such a hard time when he fails. He may not show it to teachers, but I see it in him when we pray together at night. I am grateful for Mrs. Talrico, Nathan's teacher. Her encouragement to have me look into this has been so helpful. And it has given me hope. She sees his good heart, and his good nature through the difficulties he has, and that is so incredibly helpful.
Now I just wait until we get the diagnosis. His appointment is May 3rd. After all the talks I've had with his preschool teacher, and his current teachers, and my own speculations, I feel that the OT will be telling me information that I already know. But now, there's help.
After doing some research, I came to the conclusion that we had to get him referred to a occupational therapist. Nathan is a text book example of a child with SPD. The type that he may have is very similar to ADHD, however his teacher, the Dr who referred him to the OT, and myself don't think he has ADHD. Nathan has a strong ability to be able to focus for extended periods of time in school and at home. He also doesn't display displaced anger and frustration like many kids with ADHD, and he has no problem learning new things. In fact, he's incredibly smart. Nathan appears to have a sensory seeking issue. Children with this tend to have difficulty listening, following directions, knowing where there body is in space, and they seek out high intensity activities, or increased durations of sensory stimulation. They tend to get into people's space because they crave touch so much due to needing stimulation. They will intentionally bump or crash into things, and they car stare at optical things, such as televisions, and other visual stimulants for hours. The children under this category don't often throw temper tantrums, they just seem to be over active and have a hard time transitioning from play time to quiet time. They are not intentionally not following directions from teachers, obviously, but it often appears that they are.
I have wondered for a long time if there was something going on with Nathan other than "high energy." He had a difficult time sleeping as an infant, and when he became a toddler, he always desired to be snuggled, have his backed rubbed, or just need to be sleeping next to me in order to sleep. He still needs his back rubbed every night before bed. And he still tries to sleep with me at night. Not to mention that he's very energetic, sensitive to sound, sometimes light, he tries really hard to focus in large groups but finds that it's next to impossible. He explains it by saying, "I try to make my body sit still, but my brain won't let it. My brain feels dizzy and I don't like it."
As a mother it's incredibly hard. My heart breaks for Nathan. Yet, I am so relieved to know there's help for Nathan. I feel so many emotions with this. Sadness, relief, fear, relief, anger, relief. It's hard when I hear people label him and say he "misbehaves." When I know now that he can't control it. It's wonderful that now we can help him process this, and that we can set him up to succeed rather than fail. That we can know what expectations to have of him, and that we'll have an OT helping us along the way. I also found a wonderful website that has been so incredibly helpful and a few great friends that have prayed for me along this new journey that God has placed us in. Support is so important during this time and I don't know what I'd do without it. I love my little boy so much. He has an amazing, loving heart. He wants nothing but to do good things, yet he gets labeled a "bad boy." For that my heart breaks. He has such a hard time when he fails. He may not show it to teachers, but I see it in him when we pray together at night. I am grateful for Mrs. Talrico, Nathan's teacher. Her encouragement to have me look into this has been so helpful. And it has given me hope. She sees his good heart, and his good nature through the difficulties he has, and that is so incredibly helpful.
Now I just wait until we get the diagnosis. His appointment is May 3rd. After all the talks I've had with his preschool teacher, and his current teachers, and my own speculations, I feel that the OT will be telling me information that I already know. But now, there's help.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Finally, finally an update!
So the winter bug had me down for at least a week. The kids got it too. So, I went a whole 9 days without working out. And I probably didn't drink as much water as I should have. I was utterly exhausted and hated that I couldn't work out. It was really easy during that week to not care as much about what I was eating either. I just wanted whatever was quick and didn't require too much effort.
However, now that I'm better I hopped right back into working out! This past Monday I went to the Y with Dan. I did about 30 minutes of cardio on the elliptical and lifted some weights. Yesterday I did 45 minutes of Wii Zumba fit, then went onto the Y later in the afternoon and ran/walked the track and did some weight lifting.
Working out at the Y is great, however I notice I have some insecurity issues. I don't know how to use a lot of the machines and if I can't figure them out within a minute, I tend to shy away because someone else is waiting for the machine. I'm thinking I need to ask someone to show me how to use and adjust some of them. Due to me being so short, I have to adjust most of them. Adjusting the weights isn't a problem, just the machine itself. It does have a description on each machine, however I'm more of a hands on learner, so I don't pick up the little picture that easily. I need someone to show me, or I just need to watch someone use the machine. Either way, the gym has really dredged up some insecurities in me. I'm way more comfortable working out at home, however getting to the gym is great. I just need to shake off the insecurity and not let the people who seem annoyed with my inexperience get to me.
I have notice a lot of difference in my legs. I have muscle tone again! :) Now, if I can do the same with my gut!
Wish me luck!
However, now that I'm better I hopped right back into working out! This past Monday I went to the Y with Dan. I did about 30 minutes of cardio on the elliptical and lifted some weights. Yesterday I did 45 minutes of Wii Zumba fit, then went onto the Y later in the afternoon and ran/walked the track and did some weight lifting.
Working out at the Y is great, however I notice I have some insecurity issues. I don't know how to use a lot of the machines and if I can't figure them out within a minute, I tend to shy away because someone else is waiting for the machine. I'm thinking I need to ask someone to show me how to use and adjust some of them. Due to me being so short, I have to adjust most of them. Adjusting the weights isn't a problem, just the machine itself. It does have a description on each machine, however I'm more of a hands on learner, so I don't pick up the little picture that easily. I need someone to show me, or I just need to watch someone use the machine. Either way, the gym has really dredged up some insecurities in me. I'm way more comfortable working out at home, however getting to the gym is great. I just need to shake off the insecurity and not let the people who seem annoyed with my inexperience get to me.
I have notice a lot of difference in my legs. I have muscle tone again! :) Now, if I can do the same with my gut!
Wish me luck!
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